Days 55 and 56

Yeah, I know I didn't post last night...It was honestly just me being lazy, taking the night off! I didn't even email Justin before I went to bed...and that's NOT normal.

I had my weigh-in this morning and did my 8-week measurements. Didn't get to do my pictures, because my mom was not home this morning...We will do them tomorrow or the next day, though. I lost 0.8 lbs and another 5 inches or so. I get really frustrated on Sundays. I was telling my mom at lunch today that it's hard because every other "diet" I have done (ie, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Atkins...the list goes on) I have lost weight pretty quickly and steadily. And usually I do not exercise as much as I should...She agreed but was quick to point out that I've also GAINED the weight back every time. I have most likely lost muscle all of those times, instead of this time where I know I am gaining it. Which brings me to what I've learned this week.

My new mantra is: "I am a golf ball...I AM a golf ball..."

Let me explain :) My mom was reading a different weight loss-type book this week. It was one she had read 5 or 6 years ago and just decided to pick back up. In the book, it uses the example of a golf ball vs a tennis ball. A golf ball is smaller than a tennis ball, but it weighs more. I am still 30 lbs heavier than I was 2 years ago at this time...And yet, I managed to put on some jeans that I wore then (albeit, they were too tight to wear). Point is, I couldn't so much as get them over my knees a month ago. I don't want the scale to dictate my progress, but as a female I just think it's hard to get past that. We want to see that number go down just as we want the sizes of our clothing to. So I keep telling myself that I am a golf ball. I am smaller than I was, even though I don't weigh a lot less. I am down about 19 lbs since I got to Nashville about 10 weeks ago.

I am determined to keep going. I could honestly keep this routine up for the rest of my life...as far as eating "clean" Monday-Saturday and then having the free Sunday. It seriously takes away all the madness of feeling deprived. I ate what I wanted today...no holding back. I had chips and salsa at lunch...I had a Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty this afternoon (mmm)...and a cheeseburger Happy Meal for dinner. Do I feel bad about it? No. I enjoyed my day and I know that tomorrow morning, I will be at zumba not even thinking about it. This is the way that I have to do things. I want to be focused, but I do not want my weight to dictate how I feel. I have a history of being an "all-or-nothing" kinda person...and I want that to change. I want to do this right...and you know, the slower it comes off...the longer it will stay there.

Punching, xo