Days 55 and 56

Yeah, I know I didn't post last night...It was honestly just me being lazy, taking the night off! I didn't even email Justin before I went to bed...and that's NOT normal.

I had my weigh-in this morning and did my 8-week measurements. Didn't get to do my pictures, because my mom was not home this morning...We will do them tomorrow or the next day, though. I lost 0.8 lbs and another 5 inches or so. I get really frustrated on Sundays. I was telling my mom at lunch today that it's hard because every other "diet" I have done (ie, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Atkins...the list goes on) I have lost weight pretty quickly and steadily. And usually I do not exercise as much as I should...She agreed but was quick to point out that I've also GAINED the weight back every time. I have most likely lost muscle all of those times, instead of this time where I know I am gaining it. Which brings me to what I've learned this week.

My new mantra is: "I am a golf ball...I AM a golf ball..."

Let me explain :) My mom was reading a different weight loss-type book this week. It was one she had read 5 or 6 years ago and just decided to pick back up. In the book, it uses the example of a golf ball vs a tennis ball. A golf ball is smaller than a tennis ball, but it weighs more. I am still 30 lbs heavier than I was 2 years ago at this time...And yet, I managed to put on some jeans that I wore then (albeit, they were too tight to wear). Point is, I couldn't so much as get them over my knees a month ago. I don't want the scale to dictate my progress, but as a female I just think it's hard to get past that. We want to see that number go down just as we want the sizes of our clothing to. So I keep telling myself that I am a golf ball. I am smaller than I was, even though I don't weigh a lot less. I am down about 19 lbs since I got to Nashville about 10 weeks ago.

I am determined to keep going. I could honestly keep this routine up for the rest of my life...as far as eating "clean" Monday-Saturday and then having the free Sunday. It seriously takes away all the madness of feeling deprived. I ate what I wanted today...no holding back. I had chips and salsa at lunch...I had a Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty this afternoon (mmm)...and a cheeseburger Happy Meal for dinner. Do I feel bad about it? No. I enjoyed my day and I know that tomorrow morning, I will be at zumba not even thinking about it. This is the way that I have to do things. I want to be focused, but I do not want my weight to dictate how I feel. I have a history of being an "all-or-nothing" kinda person...and I want that to change. I want to do this right...and you know, the slower it comes off...the longer it will stay there.

Punching, xo

Day 54

Ooooooooh yeah.

What an amazing Friday :) We went to the Y this morning, so Alana could go to her KidFit class and I could get my cardio in. I emailed Justin and told him that "I only did 40 minutes of cardio" and then laughed at myself. Who'd have thought that statement would ever come from my mouth? When we got home, I got a quick shower and we went with my mom and grandma to Murfreesboro for an appointment my grandma had...Then we hit up one of my favorite places to eat, Jason's Deli. Mmmm.

My mom and Alana went to spending the evening with Liam. I got caught up on all my shows on the DVR and thought about taking a nap...Grandma was sleeping and it was WAY too quiet in this house. Then I decided that instead of sleeping, I'd go zumba. That's right my friends, I went BACK to the Y and did an hour of zumba tonight. It was SO much fun. I swear it gets better every time. This time was with my fourth instructor...and I've liked each one better :) When I came down the stairs after class, Justin was standing there smiling. "Zumba?" Haha. Then he told me to go do some cardio. I told him I already did my cardio for the day and he said to do some more. Then he told me to go stretch...After a bunch of arguing, I told him I would go home and stretch out on my couch :) Which is what I did...eventually.

It's still quiet in the house...My mom and Alana have yet to return, and the only noise is the tv blaring in my grandma's room, down the hall. I don't know how she sleeps with that thing so loud! I've cleaned what I can clean, the laundry is done and folded and put away...so the only thing left to do is crawl into my bed and read--or go to sleep early.

I wish everyday felt like today has...

Punching, xo

Day 53

Another day down...It's been a SUPER busy day for me. I usually go to the gym in the morning and then after that it's pretty chill. Today I didn't stop until, oh, 10 minutes ago. I decided I better post now, before I fall asleep :)

Had a really great workout this morning with Justin. I just feel like I am getting so much stronger. I have 3 more workouts with him, and I'm hoping I can keep it up when I'm done. Cardio is a cinch for me to do on my own...but the weights are a different story! I have been writing down what I do with him each session, so hopefully I can make up my own workouts loosely based on what we've done.

Eating was also good. My grandma won a "free" dinner for 6 at the Catfish House, so we went (along with Lindsay and Liam) and ate. It was kind of funny, you know...if it seems too good to be true then it probably is, right? Well, it turns out that it was a Fire Safety Presentation and we would've had to go sit in this one room with a bunch of other people and eat what they gave us :) We opted to stay out in the main restaurant and order what we wanted, free or not. I had grilled scallops and turnip greens...a few pieces of fried okra, but definitely didn't go overboard!

Just a few more days until our 8-week weigh-in, measuring, and pictures! We'll see how much "progress" I have made!

Punching, xo

Day 52

I'm back! I never went anywhere, but yesterday I felt like I was somewhere else...

Went to zumba this morning! It was amazing, as always. I love that class, because it gets easier to follow with every class I attend...and it goes by SO fast! I was actually sad when they said we had to stop because the next class was coming in...Love it! Then I did 20 minutes on the Arc...23 if you want to get all technical :)

My eating is back on track today. I'm strangely proud to say that last night I went to bed feeling MISERABLE. This was a good thing, though. It reminds me how much better I feel when I feed my body what it really needs and not what I think I want.

Special love and thanks to Brooke...I know I'm not in this alone anyway, but friend--you make me feel so much better about things on a daily basis. You're amazing!

Gotta go finish up my special "Father's Day" package for Justin and get to bed. Session with the other Justin first thing in the morning!

Punching, xo

Day 51

We all have them...Yesterday was one of those days. It started off pretty good, but by about 4 or 5 p.m. started slowly going downhill. I wish I could say what was wrong, but I don't know. I had an amazing workout with Justin in the morning, followed by some more cardio on the Arc. Alana didn't put up a fuss about going to the gym (which I was very thankful for!)...I came home and cleaned and booked our flights to FL! I was very excited about that. Maybe that's what set me over the edge--the uncertainty and stepping out of my little comfort zone I've created here. Well, let's just say that the leftover pizza in the fridge was screaming my name and I broke. I ate it. On a Tuesday. (Then I threw the rest in the trash) Later, I ate some Lucky Charms. All the while, I was telling myself not to do it. It's frustrating, because I like to be in control. And plainly put, it sucks not feeling like you have control. Maybe that's my problem. I am trying to take control...The good news? Today is a new day. Brand...spanking...new. And I am on my way to the gym in a little while to work out. Progress, not perfection...

Punching, xo

Day 50

Happy Memorial Day!

We skipped the bbq today, after the rotten day of eating yesterday :) Let's see...first thing this morning, I hit the gym--only to find that so did everyone else! It was sooo super crowded! The Y was only opened from 8-4 today, so I think that everyone who usually is working during the hours I go was there...as were those who go at night. I got in 30 minutes on the Arc, which is a feat in itself. Then I attempted to find another form of cardio, and there wasn't a single machine open. My mom was home with Alana and had to train with Justin, so I had to get back home. When I got here, I jumped on the treadmill and ran 2.5 miles! It felt amazing! I ate wonderfully today...We did get the Chick Fil-A dinner in :) Can't go wrong there!

On a total non-BFL related subject, I am excited as we are planning a trip to FL next month for Alana's birthday/visiting ALL of our family there! It should be so much fun! Lots to do! I was just watching Jon and Kate Plus 8 (sad, to say the least) and Kate kept saying how she can't believe the sextuplets turned 5...I feel her pain! I can't believe Alana is going to be 5, either. And can I just say that despite all the tabloid drama going on with that family...I honest to goodness just want to hug them both. I know their confusion. I've felt it. I just pray that they can muster through whatever this is they're going through...God is bigger than it all! Wow, I got sidetracked there but I'm not deleting it :) But back to the FL thing. I've already been advised that I have a way to workout no matter who I'm visiting in FL! Yay for motivation and catering people!

Hoping for an amazing workout with Justin in the morning!

Punching, xo

Day 49

Yes, I'm a dork. I post pictures of myself on my blog. My weigh-in was not as successful as I'd like to have thought it would be...I lost 0.4 lbs, woo-flippin-hoo. The good news is that I wore this size MEDIUM shirt today :) This is another nice NSV.

Soooo...Today has been pretty much all over the place for me emotionally. I can't piece my thoughts together well enough to blog about it. The biggest thing has been this. I have tried to think of how to write this post with it still making clear and perfect sense, but I don't know that it's possible. I pretty much ate like crap today. I ate some chocolate, I ate some starbursts (only 2)...We had pizza for dinner, which I only ate one piece and was done...but THEN I hit up the dessert pizza and ate enough of that to make up for it. The worst part is that it was all just mindless, emotional eating. I hate it. It doesn't matter how much I miss my husband or how tired I am or how badly I want to sleep in my own bed sometimes...I shouldn't be eating to make it better. It's all a big learning curve, right?

We started a sermon series in James today, which happens to be one of my favorite books of the Bible. The pastor said something that got to me...maybe not in the way he had planned for it to, but regardless it did. He said how lucky we are that we don't have to be perfect to follow Christ. He doesn't make us wait til we've reached perfection (and thank goodness, because we would never get there)...But He takes us AS WE ARE and loves us just the same. So who cares if I only lost 0.4 lbs. This is about progress, not perfection...and I am loved no matter what the scale says.

And knowing that, this week I am going to push harder and go stronger...

Punching, xo

Day 48

Today was a great day! I ate my weight in watermelon, and we had a yummy dinner that my mom cooked out for us. Mmm. I just got off the treadmill--I had a late workout tonight. So it goes some days. I figured I needed to get my butt moving since tomorrow morning is my weigh-in...I REALLY didn't want to, though!

Lindsay and Liam came over tonight and we had turkey burgers (my mom grilled them!) and sweet potato fries. I can tell that the BFL thing has changed me, because I was saying how I would rather eat that meal than any fast food burger and fries. Grandma didn't agree with me, but hey it's hard to break a 70 year old's habits :) She did however devour every bite of hers! Alana kept saying how delicious the meal was...

Looking forward to our free day tomorrow! We get to spend most of it with my favorite little nephew! That's enough to brighten anyone's day! But for now, I need to go email my favorite sailor and call it a night.

Punching, xo

Day 47

I'm writing this while sitting on my mom's front porch, soaking in the amazing weather! I could seriously sit out here for hours. Alana is playing across the street with all the neighborhood kids...It's gonna be hard to go home!

I woke up in the middle of the night last night, only to realize that I was already super sore! When I actually got out of bed this morning, I hobbled down the stairs and ate some ibuprofen for breakfast :) Today was Alana's exercise class, so we headed off the to Y without a fight (of course!) Even though I was sore, I did 20 minutes on the treadmill and then another 20 minutes on the Arc. My mom is at the Y working out with Justin right now. I sent her with the message that he did his job yesterday! I am pretty glad that I'm sore, if I'm being honest. It lets me know that I worked as hard as I thought I did!

The eating this has been fine, but when Grandma made a hawaiian pizza for lunch today, I had to go upstairs and take a shower. It smelled soooo good (and I smelled soooo bad haha). She offered me a piece, which I reluctantly turned down. If it would've been Sunday, that pizza would've been so gone! I have a weakness, what can I say? I might have to order some Papa John's on Sunday night. When I lived with my mom before, we used to order it every Sunday night and watch Desperate Housewives :)

I can't believe another week has come to an end. It seems like time is flying by so fast. In a way it's good...but it's also my life that is flying by! And Alana's starting school soon!!! Ahhh!!!

Here's to a fantastic weekend!

Punching, xo

Day 46

What a great day! I trained with Justin this morning...It was fantastic, as always. He asked me first thing if I was sore at all after our last workout. I feel like there is never a good answer to that question, but I answered honestly and said no...He said, "Not even a little bit?" Again, I hesitated and said "Nope, not even one bit." This was followed by, "Mrs. P we are gonna have to change that today!" I might regret my honesty in the morning! I will admit that I enjoy a little muscle soreness these days, though...as long as I can move! After my 35 minutes with Justin, I did 20 minutes on the Arc...He said I owed him 15 minutes, but I go above and beyond :)

After coming home and getting a shower, we hit up our other two favorite places...Chick Fil-A and Target! Then Alana and I headed over to Nashville to stay with Liam while Lindsay took Jon to the airport. (He was napping)...We SO wanted to wake him up and love on him, but we resisted...this time! Sunday, he will be fair game, though!!!

It's really been a great day. I couldn't ask for much more...

Punching, xo

Day 45

I'm posting earlier than usual tonight, because I plan on watching the American Idol finale. Fingers crossed for Kris Allen. PLEASE America...I'm begging!

Ok, so enough about that...Today is coming to a close. For that I am thankful. Another day that started off pretty crummy. Alana was screaming and throwing a fit about not wanting to go to the Y. This is a new thing, considering she usually loves to go. She said she just wanted to stay home all day and play. At first, I threw up my hands and took off my tennis shoes. I thought I would rather stay home and get on the treadmill here than fight with her. Then my mom knocked some much-needed sense into me and told me that she can't be boss. It's true. So I almost literally drug her to the gym...(and yes, she had a great time once she got there)

Once we got there, I hit up the treadmill (all the Arcs were occupied) for 30 minutes. I did another good run...I'm so impressed with my endurance, I know I sound like a broken record! Then by the time I got off there were 3 out of 4 Arcs empty, so I did 15 minutes on the Arc...I had to go pick up my Grandma from physical therapy, so I had to get out of there.

And now, my day is done...

Punching, xo

Days 43 and 44

I know I didn't post last night...Truth is, I didn't even open my computer. It was just one of those days. I don't have any other excuses! I'm having major issues with my child! We had a super busy, long day on Sunday...but the way she was acting yesterday was beyond a sleepy mood. It gets a bit wearing...Thank goodness I'm here at my mom's. It's hard being a "single parent". I am a very patient person, but my buttons have been pushed way too many times in the past 48 hours! All that being said, I love being a mom and wouldn't trade it for the world! And I love Alana more than anything!

I tried on two separate occasions to go to the Y yesterday and work out...neither was successful! I am not gonna go into the gory details, but see the above paragraph :) I could have gotten on the treadmill here, but I was so frazzled that didn't happen either. Today I worked out with Justin. It seemed like forever since I had a session with him, and we did some pretty good stuff! I was enjoying every minute...I missed two days of working out, and it seemed like two months. That's a good sign, right?

The food thing has been a pain in my butt the past two days also. I haven't eaten anything bad...I think the problem was our lack of groceries. If the food isn't there, you can't eat it...and you have to scrounge around to figure out what you can eat to stay on plan. I figure if the worst thing I eat is Fiber One cereal with skim milk, the world will not end...We all equally loathe grocery shopping in this house. My mom finally gave in and made the trip tonight! So I'm hoping for a better tomorrow! Alana and I did enjoy a yummy meal with Uncle Jonny and Liam at Zaxby's today...I had a salad with grilled chicken. Let's face it, not a lot to choose from that is healthy on that menu :)

I am ridiculously tired, because as if yesterday wasn't long enough...my mom woke me up in the middle of the night, doubled over in pain. She was seriously ill. She is not the type of person to be complaining about not feeling well, and she practically crawled up the stairs to my room and said she wanted to be in there "in case something happened to her". This of course freaked me out. Then she asked me to take her blood pressure...I did, and it was super low, as was her heart rate. After she finally got a little rest, she is MUCH MUCH better today, but please pray for her...I hope whatever it was that hit her last night never shows its ugly face again!

There will always be obstacles, but it's what we do when we reach them that matters...

Punching, xo

Day 42...HALF...WAY...DAY!!!

Exhibit A:
THE MINI DOUGHNUTS

Exhibit B:
ME EATING THE FIRST BITE OF THE MINI DOUGHNUT
(sans make-up sorry for that!)

I weighed in today...Most likely by now, everyone who reads my blog already knows how much I lost, but for those who don't I shall share! I lost 1.6 lbs this week...I am thrilled with that! Whodathunkit? It means that I've lost exactly 5 lbs in the past 2 weeks, and I'm almost sure that I will continue to lose at a good pace. My body is finally giving in and giving up on resisting the change.

So my mini doughnut (which you can see, is barely big enough to capture on film) was amazing. I admit, I ate TWO. I still don't even think that 2 equal one regular size doughnut...But anywho, I ate two and was able to walk away and be done with it...didn't feel the least bit of remorse, either :) For lunch, we ate at Cracker Barrel. While I didn't eat anything too terribly awful, I probably ate MORE than I needed to of it...and I felt it too! That's the best part of the "free" day. You eat like you used to and remember how horrible it makes you feel...physically and mentally. I was honestly giving my system a good halfway shock today. Tomorrow, it's back to the grind.

I am so happy and so proud of myself for making it this far into my journey, while still being completely focused. Most people who know me, know that one of my biggest issues is actually finishing what I start. I would like to say right now, that for me...this is a life change. I am not going back...no way, no how.

It is, after all "Body for LIFE"...

Punching, xo

Day 41

Saturdays are always fun, because we (my mom and I) know that the next day is FREE! We haven't really indulged since the beginning, but being as tomorrow is the end of our first 6 weeks--that's right we are HALF WAY--there are some Krispy Kremes in the kitchen waiting to be eaten in the morning. :) I wish I could say I was kidding, but I'm not. I still haven't decided if I will eat one or not...I guess that decision will most likely be made post weigh-in. Who am I kidding? I will eat one. If I lose weight, I will eat one because I feel safe to do so...and if I don't lose weight, I will eat one to treat the emotions haha. They ARE mini doughnuts...if that's any consolation!

OOOOOOK. So today was good. I got up first thing and did my workout with weights at home. I put off the cardio for later...and then when I had my shoes laced up, it decided to storm so bad outside that I was scared to leave for the gym. I waited...and waited...and waited...and then, I went! I did 20 minutes on the Arc and then 20 minutes on the rowing machine!

I am super tired...and I am also super excited because (I think) I am meeting up with a good friend tomorrow to catch up and let our kiddos play. I am not sure who is more excited, actually--me or Alana! Praying for good weather!

Tomorrow is weigh-day! I will post my results, good or bad!

Punching, xo

Day 40

The day started off a bit rough...Alana was melting down over everything, and after I took Advil PM to sleep last night...well, I was sluggish and not wanting to deal with it :) Once we got to the gym, everything got better though!

While Alana had her exercise class, I killed it on the Arc and then on the treadmill. I cannot even explain how much better my endurance is in such a short time. A couple of months ago, I couldn't even run for a minute without wanting to die...Today I ran for 25 of 30 minutes--and survived! It's kind of embarrassing because my face gets ridiculously red when I run...but my mom says I just need to get over it :) I think she's right!

I'm going to attempt to make it to zumba in the morning...it's my new found love. Well, I have a love/hate relationship with it. I love to go, and I hate to feel as uncoordinated as it makes me feel at times!

Week 6 is coming to an end very soon!!!

Punching, xo

Day 39

I just finished watching the very intense season finale of Grey's Anatomy. OH MY GOODNESS! I think I held my breath for the last 20 minutes! I have had a love/hate relationship with the show this season, but the past few have recaptured me :)

But anyways, enough about that! Today was a great day. I had my workout with Justin this morning...He told me at one point that I did "not amazing or awesome but brilliant!" That made me feel so good! I was excited to be there today. My mom and I have both decided that we are becoming gym junkies for sure! It's so nice to be craving that instead of something unhealthy!

I've really been trying to keep my intensity up on my cardio and just give it my all everyday. I know that whether or not the scale is moving, and no matter what size pants I'm still wearing...I am accomplishing so much already. This is a new life...and I'm so thankful to be living it!

Punching, xo

Day 38

Well, well...another day down! I did zumba again today for my cardio! An hour of that will make ya sweat! It was my 3rd class, and each one has been better and better! I'm really lovin' it! After zumba, I went downstairs for another 20 minutes on the Arc trainer. Phew, I could've wrung the sweat out of my clothes and filled a bucket :)

I went to Old Navy this afternoon and used my Mother's Day giftcard to buy new workout pants. I desperately needed some! I have been wearing and washing 2 pairs (after having to retire my sweats)...that can get quite tiresome. It was exciting to buy them...it makes me want to hurry and go to the gym so I can wear them! Good thing I have a scheduled workout in the morning :)

On the way home from my shopping trip, I took Grandma and Alana through two different drive-thrus for cheeseburgers and fries. Don't ask haha. Grandma wanted Sonic and Alana wanted a Happy meal. I aim to please. Throw in the hot apple pies Grandma ordered, and my car was smelling like a fast food joint. I ordered an unsweetened tea at Sonic, and I came home and heated up leftover grilled chicken from last night's dinner...It was such a huge deal for me. Why? Because I didn't even feel deprived. I didn't want to eat the fast food. Although, I admit it did smell quite tasty :) Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels (or so they say). I have never been skinny so I don't know that...YET!

Thankful for another NSV!

Punching, xo

Day 37

I just finished watching the season finale of The Biggest Loser. I must say that I watched the most recent episodes with so much more respect for the contestants. I see how I have busted my butt in the gym, only to lose 1/2 a lb a week at times...and these people work out 6-8 hours a day, sometimes losing the same. But seeing the finale...Seeing how much these people have accomplished on their own...it was just inspiring!

Today was a good day. I worked out with Justin this morning and then this afternoon I journeyed off to the 'boro for my massage! Ooooh, it was so nice and so needed! I am planning to go to zumba in the morning for my cardio. I guess that all depends on what time I wake up, being as it's already getting late :)

Punching, xo

Day 36

I realized something today...When I did Weight Watchers the last time and I lost down to my lowest weight, I lost 16 lbs. I obviously didn't have as much to lose then as I have this go 'round, but it took me FOREVER to lose those 16 lbs. Since I've been in Nashville...I've lost between 15-16 lbs! In about 6 weeks! Looking at things from that perspective make me realize how much I've actually accomplished in such a short time.

Gym time today was cardio...the dreaded cardio! I knocked out an hour: 20 minutes on the Arc, 20 minutes on the bike, and 20 minutes running on the treadmill...It makes it a lot less monotonous when I break it up like that. And when I was done, I felt like a million bucks...a very sweaty million bucks :)

Off to wind down for the evening...I meet up with Justin in the morning for a workout!

Punching, xo

Day 35

First and foremost, Happy Mother's Day! I know my day was full of fun and surprises! I already blogged about most of that here on my other blog...so I won't repeat!

Today's weigh-in was fantastic! I lost 3.4 lbs this week! I was serious when I said that I thought I had gained weight this week. I ate more than I have in the previous weeks, and I felt like I had no energy to put forth the effort I needed to in my cardio.

I went to zumba for the 2nd time ever today! I can honestly say it was so much better this go 'round. It was a different instructor and she was way cool. I'm a dork, but I have so much fun and the hour goes by so much faster than if I'm huffing away on the treadmill.

I usually don't partake in too much "bad" stuff on my free days, but today was a celebration! My mom and I are the only ones up still, and we took it upon ourselves to have some dark chocolate (good for your heart, right?) and some strawberry shortcake! She made it with sugar-free angel food cake and cool-whip free...so it wasn't that sinful! I know I will work hard this week to make up for it all!

5 down, 7 more to go!

Punching, xo

Day 34

After a lazy, chill morning I finally got motivated to work out. I had to do a strength-training workout, along with my cardio...now that I'm working out with Justin on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Everything got all mixed up this week :) I did my 30 minutes on the treadmill plus about 35 minutes of strength exercises (ie, lunges and squats with weights) that Justin taught me.

Tomorrow morning is my weigh-in. I'm not too excited about it...partially because we enjoyed a yummy steak dinner at Logan's tonight. I don't usually eat out on days that aren't "free", but I tried to make the most healthy choices I could. I'm just hoping the sodium doesn't do a number on the scale. And if it does, I know why :)

Not much else to report for now...so I will say good night.

Punching, xo

Day 33

I woke up with super sore hamstrings this morning! What a bittersweet feeling...I hate to say it, but I've actually missed being sore for the past week or so. On top of that, I actually pushed through my cardio without a hitch. I RAN for the longest time I've run in 2 years. That shows my progress...and my knees lived to tell about it!

I'm still feeling a little drained, but nowhere near as badly as I have...I'm excited for my "last chance workout" tomorrow. Yes, I watch too much of the Biggest Loser :) But I always try and push myself that much harder on Saturday, because of my weigh-ins on Sunday...

I'm going to bed soon, but first I wanted to share an excerpt from last night's BFL journal:

"Forgiveness is a priceless gift you can give for free."
"...so many people don't even know how good they are. They carry bags of guilt, filled to the brim, with them day and night, expending precious energy. That 'baggage' like pounds of unhealthy bodyfat, needs to be shed in order to move upward and onward. The process of breaking free involves forgiving. Forgiving others, and most important forgiving yourself...Perhaps you've broken self-promises. Perhaps you've let yourself down. If so, you're not alone. Virtually everyone has felt like that at some point. But you don't have to let that stop you. The key is to forgive yourself and vow to try harder and do better in the future. Drop that baggage and move on!"

Punching, xo

Day 32

I forgot to post this last night, but yesterday was my 1/2 birthday...not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, BUT...I have said that I wanted to be in great shape by my 30th. So I have 6 months to get there. I'm definitely on the right track...I just have to stay there!

Today I worked out with Justin. I felt strong, and I was really excited to be there. I still had a major struggle getting through my cardio today. This week has been tough...I have upped my intensity, but have felt so completely worn down. I seriously think I could sleep for 2 days and still not be rested. I thought maybe my body was yelling at me for the rigorous program I've put it on...and then today my throat was sore. I'm begging that I'm not getting sick...so I'm hitting the hay early tonight.

Tonight I made a yummy dinner. We had spaghetti (whole-wheat pasta, of course), sauce made with ground turkey, mushrooms and red peppers. It was amazing. Maybe it was the fact that we've been eating chicken and fish for weeks :) No, but it really was good. My grandma even ate it up, and she is a burger and fries (anything greasy) queen! It totally felt like we were "cheating" by eating this. I wouldn't eat it everyday, but gosh it was a nice change!

I'll be at the Y in the morning, thanks to Alana's KidFit class. Gotta love it :) She waits all week for Fridays! I'm hoping I will wake up in the morning, refreshed and renewed!

Punching, xo

Day 31

Didn't want to go to the Y today...I reeeeeally wanted to stay home and just do my cardio here. Alana had different plans, though. I decided it was easier to just go to the Y than to fight about it with her :) So we went...

I did 30 minutes on the Arc trainer and 15 minutes on the treadmill with a 7-8% incline. That's like the least I've done on a cardio day yet, I think...maybe not. But I feel drained. I am tired. My body is begging me for something, and I'm not sure what it is yet! I know it is not a Snickers Sonic Blast, though! Mmmm...

I have been sticking to my diet flawlessly...

Hoping the scale moves more than 1/2 a lb this week, but for some reason I feel heavier than I have haha...

Punching, xo

Day 30

Thirty days down! Today was a good day. My back has been a little bit sore, but Justin was sure to not let me hurt it any worse. I did one set of exercises that include squats and overhead presses, and once he saw it was causing me pain, we modified it so that I could sit and do them instead...I can't afford to throw my back out. I got a lot of non-exercise exercise in today by cleaning, too! That's always fun (sense the sarcasm). Overall, it's been another amazing day! The only thing that could make it better is hearing from my hubby...That, and winning the lottery :)

Not much more to report for now! Gonna workout tomorrow, but I'm going to take it easy on the back for one more day...

Punching, xo

Day 29

I missed my session with Justin today...I managed to drag myself to the Y for some cardio, though! I have a new favorite machine there. I don't remember if I wrote about it before, so I will share again :) It's called the Arc Trainer (Cybex) and it is sort of like an elliptical, only better! I burned 435 in 30 minutes! THIRTY minutes! It's amazing! So then I did 20 minutes on the treadmill with a 7-8% incline. I'm working on raising that intensity!

My foot has been feeling better, and then today out of nowhere my lower back has been killing me! And I mean killing me. I have had the heating pad on it for most of the afternoon/evening. I'm hoping that when I wake up in the morning it is back to normal. I really need to work out tomorrow! I think that standing in line at two places to try and mail Justin a package today didn't help...The box wasn't THAT heavy, but obviously enough to make matters worse.

Another successful day earned!

Punching, xo

Day 28

The results are in...Are you ready?! I will share them over my bowl of Lucky Charms. This is my free day folks, simmer down :)

My first 4 weeks on BFL, I:
-lost 7.2 lbs (I also lost about 5 before I started, for a total of 12-ish)
-lost 12.5 inches (2 off my waist, 2.5 off my hips, 3 off my bust, 2 off of each thigh, and a little off my arms and calves)
-increased my endurance and strength

I was somewhat bummed today when I weighed in...I mean, I lost a whole 0.4 lbs again. It's hard when I've been busting my butt everyday in the gym and don't see the scale budge. Then I did my measurements...and we took our first after pictures. That is where the real proof is. I told my mom that it makes me want to go give trainer Justin a great big hug...and then again, I'm the one who's done this. Sure, he helped pave the way. My mom and I were talking yesterday about how with diet and exercise, no one can do it for you. No one can eat (or not eat) for you...no one can work out for you. So I'm gonna take this credit for myself :) I am thankful for all of the things I have learned in the past 28 days. I am worth it, and I can do this.

Tomorrow is a day I would normally workout with Justin, but he is booked full during the Y-Play hours, so I have to go on Tuesday instead. I will be missing that, but I will be at the Y! I hate to say it, but I think I am becoming a gym junkie. I can think of worse things...

The rest of my day is FREE. Off to church, and then I think we are having lunch with Jon, Lindsay and Liam...Gonna be a fantastic day!

Punching, xo

Day 27

One word...ZUMBA!!!

Oh goodness. I talked my mom into going to Zumba with me today. I'd never been, and I've been so curious about all the hype. Besides that, I want to do classes at the Y just to change things up. I am not the most coordinated person in the world, so I was kind of hesitant...Well, we went! We went and so did at least 60 other people. It was PACKED! We could barely move...I couldn't really see the instructor to know what the heck I was doing. It was a lot of fun, though...and I will definitely go back. I think I will go back during the week, and hope there are less people in the class. The best part was the fact that there were four or five Latin guys in front of us (or behind us, depending on which way we were facing). No pressure! I'm sure they were laughing at the lack of salsa in my steps.

We ate lunch at Subway, which is a treat these days! When we got home I played some wii with the fam and then I got on the treadmill. I tried to do some intervals like Justin had me doing on the elliptical yesterday...only this time I alternated between walking at a good pace and sprinting. I did that for 30 minutes and then stretched and did some situps with the medicine ball. I'm trying to take what my trainer has taught me and use it at home. I will have to do it on my own eventually! The thought saddens me, though! Maybe I will inherit millions or something, and I can afford to have a trainer forever...and maybe a chef, too! :)

Anywho...
It's been a good day, but I am tired. I am going to ice my knees for the second time. I woke up with my foot a little sore, but better...and now it is not hurting at all! Thanks for the prayers. I'm just taking precautionary measures with the knees. I still have about 30-35 extra lbs on my joints, and they hate me for it!

Tomorrow is the 4-week mark! Check back for my weight/measurement updates...I almost said for my first "after" pics, but get real...you ain't gettin' those! :)

Punching, xo

p.s. It was time for a blog makeover!

Day 26

I had my best workout yet today...That is solely my own opinion :) I just felt stronger than I normally do, and I didn't even tire as quickly. There was the time I threw a medicine ball at my trainer's hand...oops. I was smiling when I left and one of the other Y employees noted that Justin must not be training me hard enough if I'm smiling...The question is, will I be smiling tomorrow?

My foot has been hurting since the middle of the night last night. I woke up, thanks to the thunderstorms...and when I did, I noticed that my foot was throbbing. I thought maybe I was sleeping on it wrong, but when I woke up again this morning it was still really sore. I'm icing it and praying that it's nothing major. I don't need any big bumps in the road!

Tomorrow I am going to go to the gym, I think...even though I usually stay home and hit the treadmill on Saturdays...I really want to kick up the intensity. It's my last day before measurements and our first "after" pics! Also, J showed me how to get the most out of my cardio today...I'm excited to try it out again, foot willing.

Punching, xo

Day 25

Today was a busy, productive day...It almost made me feel "normal". I put that one in quotes, because I am not really sure what the word means. Started my day off at the gym, as usual! Got my hour of cardio in, and I also got signed up for 10 more sessions with Justin. I still have 2, so that means I'm in it for at least 4 more weeks...I am sooooo incredibly thankful for the extra time! On a down note, I've felt fatter today, haha. I know it's dumb, but I've been feeling lighter lately--until today...I hope it will make me push myself even harder tomorrow!

Just wanted to share a quote out of my book...I will paraphrase it, because I'm too lazy to go back and see what it says verbatim. But it goes something like this: "Success is something that you earn, not something that you own." I thought this was pretty awesome. I want to be successful, and in order to do that I have to earn it. I have to work hard for it. No one can hand me success. It is something that I must want bad enough to obtain on my own...Good stuff!

Punching, xo