Don't Think, Just Punch!

Proof I finished!

2009-09-07T15:14:00.003-04:00

Watch me cross the finish line by clicking here!

You will have to type in my first and last name or my bib number, which was 22606. I'm the dork on the left in pink and black, with a white visor...Enjoy :)

I Came, I Ran, I Conquered.

2009-09-06T17:41:00.004-04:00

I did it! I ran 13.1 miles and lived to blog about it :) I am super tired (after a sleepless night) and my knees are achy, but I can't complain. I feel like I accomplished such a huge feat. Thank you to all of you who have supported me and helped me believe that I could do it! My official time was 2:51:56. My first goal was to finish the race. My 2nd goal was to finish in less than 3 hours. I did both! I ran the entire race, walking only through the Cytomax stations to rehydrate. This totaled about a minute and a half of the entire time! Justin had to work last night (and tonight, too) so he missed the race. He did get my updates via text message from the amazing technology of the race world. Angie was awesome enough to not only go to my race but also to take my mom and Alana to see me cross the finish line!

They first found me right before the 12-mile marker

Run Portas, Run :)

Alana in Jalen's stroller...probably pouting haha.

Here I come towards the finish, almost to mile 13...

Still smiling...and still running!

I look like a goob but I am standing!

I have the world's grossest blisters thanks to a wonder called the sports bra.
The picture doesn't do it justice, but it's nasty and it STUNG when I took a shower!!!

Icing my knees and ankle post-race and shower...
STILL smiling!

My medal!

What an awesome experience! Will I do it again? You betcha! I might have to give my body a little time to recuperate, but I loved the feeling of running with so many people and on such a huge level. It was amazing! I am so glad that I did this!!!

Punching, xo

It's RACE DAY!!!

2009-09-06T04:06:00.003-04:00

I've been up since about 2:30 a.m. with pre-race jitters. Sleep? Who needs it? I'm sure I will be needing it soon enough!

For anyone who would like to watch a live feed of the race online, click here.

My bib number is 22606.

Feel free to watch me crawl over the finish line sometime around 10 a.m :)

Punching, xo

Long time no blog

2009-08-25T12:09:00.000-04:00

My life has been busy (in a good way) lately, and I'm afraid that my blog has taken a backseat because of that. I'm actually blogging from my BlackBerry at Chick Fil-A while Alana plays on the playground. Honestly, it's about the only chance I have. Just ask the important people in my life about how many phone calls they get while I'm driving from point A to point B. I love multi-tasking!

So time to catch you up on what's been going on...running...LOTS of running! I finished my final long training run on Sunday. Twelve. Long. Miles! My mom informed me that if I can run 12 miles--on a TREADMILL--then I can do anything! She said its mental. I'm not sure how I feel about that :) The week before the 12 miles I was supposed to run 11. I got to mile 3 and my left knee started to hurt. By the time I got to mile 4 it was borderline excruciating! So I stopped. I felt totally defeated, but I knew that if I was going to make it to race day with both knees in tact, I was going to have to take a few days off. This week has been much better!

As for my diet, well it hasn't been the greatest but it hasn't been horrible either! My weight has pretty much stayed the same regardless, maybe a pound or two down. It is hard to gain weight when you are burning over 1800 calories a pop on long runs! Even though I have not been as strict with my food, I have continued drinking unsweet tea, diet sodas, and water. I am proud to say its been almost 6 months since I've had a real Coke! And the best part is, I don't even WANT one!

This morning I ran 3 miles and while I was stretching, I told Alana that I really hate running. She looked at me, pretty confused. Then I told her that I don't like to run, but I love the way I feel when I'm done. It is a total feeling of accomplishment. Running is not a team sport. No one can do it for you. I will cross the finish line because of the work that I myself have done. That, and of course the grace and mercy God has had on my joints. Why else do I enjoy this running gig? Because I like to prove people wrong...like those doctors that said I might never walk again. I am reading a book that is hilarious. I've read it 3 or 4 times over the past couple of years. Its called the Non-Runners Guide to Marathon Running (or something close to that). Basically this girl went from couch potato to finishing a full 26.2 and she journals the entire process. So funny! She quotes Henry Ford in the book and the quote has played over and over in my head these past few weeks..."Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."

I think I can...I KNOW I can!

Punching, xo

Slacker Me

2009-08-05T21:28:00.002-04:00

I admit, I've been slacking when it comes to the blogging thing. I am proud to say that I have NOT been slacking in other areas of my life, though! I have been busy doing everything from getting myself and Alana registered for school, to preparing for (and having) Justin's homecoming...and running...let's not forget running!

I have stuck to my training schedule pretty well...I am up to 9 miles on my long runs! This weekend I will run 10! I am shocked and amazed at how much my body has transformed...I mean, as far as endurance and strength go...I was talking to Justin (mind you, while running my 8th of 9 miles) on Saturday and I told him that it was insane that just 5 months ago I could hardly run 1 MINUTE without feeling like I'd pass out.

Life is good...Allison is happy!

Punching, xo

8 Miles

2009-07-25T21:42:00.002-04:00

I am writing this with ice packs on each knee, after taking 2 extra-strength Tylenol (because I took Motrin the last go 'round). I haven't run this week...It has been so hectic since we got back to VA. I know that's just an excuse, but the truth is I have been SO TIRED. Well, last night I decided that I was going to run today if it killed me. I'm thinking it might have come close :) Just kidding, it's not that bad. I am just making sure it doesn't get bad. I ran my 8-mile run today...The first 4 miles like to have killed me, but once I hit mile 5 I hit my groove or something, because it got a lot easier. I use that term "easier" lightly! I keep amazing myself...I know if I can run 8 miles after not running for 6 days at all, then I can do the 13.1 in another 6 weeks.

I am also proud to say that my eating was back on track today. I haven't really been focusing on eating right lately. I will give myself credit where it is due, though...I have not had a single Coke, or non-diet drink of any kind since the first week of April! This is HUGE! Even on all of my "free" days...I have completely eliminated those wasted calories from my diet. I was starving this afternoon/evening...probably because I burned 1200 calories on the treadmill this morning. Can I just say it's a major feat to have the calories have to loop back around to zero because you hit 1000? Same with my time...looped back around to zero!

All in all today has been a great day. Alana and I spent some time at the pool this afternoon, followed by an evening at church. I've really missed our church, so it was nice to be there! Then we got stuck in tunnel traffic coming home, but I won't complain...We made it home eventually :)

Justin will be home THIS WEEK! I'm so excited. The best part is that he emailed me tonight saying we are only one hour different in time zones now...This is awesome, considering we were 9 hours different at one point! Just makes it that much more real!!!

Punching, xo

Home Sweet Home

2009-07-21T21:48:00.000-04:00

I apologize for my lack of posting, but the last week or so has been extremely busy here! AND I don't have cable/internet here so it's harder to bring myself to post :)

Alana and I made it back to Norfolk safe and sound! It's so good to be home, though I miss my momma already! We are working hard, trying to get the house in tip-top shape before Justin gets home next week...that's right, NEXT WEEK!!!

My eating and fitness have been pretty all over the place. I am trying not to lose focus...I ran 7 miles on Sunday before we left TN. It felt amazing! I am so ready to get back into the swing of things here...I am honestly just exhausted right now, but at the same time I don't want to make excuses!

The internet should be back on tomorrow!!! And I will be back on the treadmill, too!

Punching, xo

Zumba and a Run

2009-07-15T23:54:00.002-04:00

This week has been kind of busy (at least in my head, haha). I've been trying to get things done like getting the oil changed in the car and preparing for our trip back home to Virginia on Sunday. I know it's going to get even crazier the next few days! I am still trying to figure out how I'm going to fit all of our stuff into my car...

I went to zumba this morning...My training plan for the 1/2 marathon called for a run today, but I am trying to get as much zumba in as I can, while I can. I didn't want to slack on my running, though...so I can proudly say that I got in my 40 minute "easy" run tonight. I did a little more than 3.5 miles. The best part is that I only stopped ONE minute to walk and get water, and the rest of the time I ran! I can't even believe how my endurance has improved. Four months ago, I could've run one minute and then I probably would've done something stupid (like thrown up in the middle of the gym, lol)

I'm officially signed up for the race...and I'm determined!

Punching, xo

Are You Ready for This?

2009-07-13T23:25:00.002-04:00

Ok...I promised I would share the new direction my journey was taking. The truth is, I had to run it by the hubby (who was supportive, like usual) AND I really wanted to be sure that this was something I truly want to do. I have an unfortunate track record of setting out to accomplish things, with very good intentions, simply to give up or get off course soon after starting.

The BFL thing has really helped me to understand that I can finish anything I put my mind to. And while I am still following the BFL eating plan, my exercise routine is going to change a bit...quite drastically, actually!

I am going to run the Rock 'n Roll 1/2 Marathon in Virginia Beach on September 6th! Yes, you read that right. THIRTEEN POINT ONE MILES. And the craziest part is that I'm going to train for it in 8 weeks. Yeah, I'm asking for it!

I started my official training today...My plan called for a 40 minute moderate run (no specific mileage), plus 5 minutes of walking to warm-up and cool-down. I managed to do this and completed a little over 4 miles!

My goal is not to break any records...simply to FINISH the race. Slow and steady. Some of you might remember that on my New Year's resolutions for 2009, I said I wanted to run the 1/2 marathon with my mom in March. That did not happen. I wasn't ready for it physically or mentally! But thanks to the past 4 months or so, I am ready now...so Atlantic Ave. here I come!

For now, I'm going to ice my knees! Preventative measure only, for now :)

Punching, xo

New Focus

2009-07-12T23:23:00.002-04:00

This is going to be short and sweet...I can't elaborate on this just yet, but I think my journey is going to take a different direction very soon! Just wanted to let all my faithful readers know that I have not abandoned this blog OR lost sight of my goals.

I weighed-in this morning, and I stayed the same...I guess I shouldn't complain, there was no gain and I didn't have the best of weeks. Did zumba today, and it was amazing as always!

Punching, xo

Good Eats

2009-07-09T21:44:00.003-04:00

I am proud to say that today has been a great success! I feel like I'm back on track after a couple of questionable days...I woke up this morning and decided to keep myself busy right from the start. Alana and I made our way to the Y, and I got in a nice cardio workout. Today was my "lower body" day, but Alana REALLY wanted to go to the Y--and I figured that after the last couple of days a little extra calorie burning couldn't hurt me! I did 20 minutes on the ARC, followed by a 25 minute run on the treadmill! I was pouring sweat, and man did it feel good! After dinner tonight, I got in my lower body workout...lots of squats, lunges, step-ups...the stuff that is gonna make me crawl down the stairs in the morning :)

I have had a lot of people asking me what I eat on the BFL plan. I thought I'd share it here for once! The plan is pretty simple...you don't have to count calories, although calories definitely count. Basically, you eat a protein with a carbohydrate 6 times a day. One cannot be without the other...and you eat portions based on the size of your palm/hand (depending on what it is). I have a hard time getting 6 meals in, and I usually end up with 5...but today, I managed to fit them all in.

1-Chocolate Protein Shake (EAS Whey Protein) w/ 8 oz skim milk, 1 banana, 1 tsp of natural peanut butter.
2-Turkey Sandwich--Boar's Head deli turkey on a whole wheat Sandwich Thin with a little olive oil mayo and lettuce.
3-Zone Perfect Bar-Raisin and Almonds
4-Lowfat Cottage Cheese with Strawberries
5-Chipotle Lime Chicken, Sweet Potato Fries and Fresh Spinach (see picture below!)
6- Myoplex Lite Bar-Caramel Peanut CrispI posted a picture of my dinner, because I was so completely proud. It was the first time I've ever cooked on a grill...and I think it was a success! And I usually don't eat 2 bars a day, but I was hungry and that seemed like the best choice for a nighttime movie snack. I have managed to refrain from eating any of Alana's popcorn, though it smells sooo good :) We are watching "Bedtime Stories" together. We have had a nice few days together, just the two of us. I am so thankful for her...and so excited that 3 weeks from tonight, our family will be complete again.

Punching, xo

Sabotage

2009-07-08T23:12:00.003-04:00

I have decided not to title my posts with days anymore...There's a few reasons behind that. Number one, I get royally confused about what day it is. Number two, there might be days that I don't get a chance to blog. And lastly, I don't want to number the days because that makes it seem like there's a end to this. This is for LIFE.

So the word of the day is "sabotage". Makes me immediately think of the Beastie Boys. Gotta love 'em. I chose that word, because it best describes what I'm doing to myself. This is a cycle that needs to be broken, and quick-like. After being on vacation for 2 weeks and not following plan as strictly as I have been, I knew it would be hard to get back on track. Then I came back to Nashville and found myself wanting to eat right and exercise. I thought, you know how cool is this? I've got it all together. And then, yesterday happened.

I started the day out right. Alana and I didn't go to the Y, but I was supposed to do my upper body workout and I would rather do that here at home anyway. I was SO proud of myself and the routine I did. I felt like I was doing the workout the "right" way. I literally did it by the book. (And my sore muscles today, let me know I did it right!) Well, somewhere between my workout and bedtime I blew it. Let's just say that my dinner of turkey sloppy joes on a whole wheat bun was chased by about half a thing of ice cream that was leftover from Alana's birthday party. I felt miserable today, too...and that's probably the culprit.

Most of today, I was sluggish and not wanting to do much of anything...I did manage to snap out of it by dinner tonight. Alana and I went to Chick Fil-A and then we came home and Alana rode her scooter a little bit. After that, I decided to mow my mom's backyard. It was a cardio workout to say the least!

I always find myself sabotaging things in my life when they start getting good...especially when it concerns diet and exercise. I am sort of a perfectionist when it comes to things and in the past I have had an "all-or-nothing" attitude about lots of stuff. I do not want to fall back into that pattern. Again, this is why I am not going to label things as Day __ of __...This is an on-going process. I don't want it to have that sort of finite measure.

I can and I will conquer this. I will win this battle once and for all...even if it takes me a whole lifetime.

Punching, xo

Day 1 (of my next 12 weeks)

2009-07-06T22:05:00.003-04:00

I can't believe I'm back to Day 1 :) I have come so far since my first Day 1! I weighed in this morning (even though I just weighed yesterday), just to have an accurate "starting" weight. I couldn't believe it, when I saw that I had dropped another 0.6 lbs since yesterday!

It felt really good to be back on the BFL eating plan. I went grocery shopping tonight and stocked up on lots of yummy food for the week. The BFL plan says today should've been an upper body workout, but I did zumba this morning and I am too tired to do my weight training. It's not really a big deal, I will just switch my cardio days with my weight days this week. It felt amazing to sweat today! I'm back in it :)

I feel confident that I can keep this up when I go home to VA. I have been a little anxious about how it would play out, but it has become such habit to me I'm sure it will be fine...And I'm pretty sure that Justin is going to embrace the new healthy lifestyle alongside me!

Punching, xo

Day 84 and some!

2009-07-05T22:38:00.002-04:00

I know I have neglected my blog(s) the past couple of weeks. I have wanted to post so many times, but I was either too tired or busy. I'm tired now, but I'm not gonna use that as an excuse tonight :) Day 84 was supposed to be a free day, but I had taken about 3 free days during my last week...I was feeling pretty crummy with some kind of congestion, etc. and I pretty much bombed. We got back to Nashville yesterday, and I was sad to leave FL and glad to get back into my routine at the same time. However, a steak dinner and 4th of July cupcakes were something I couldn't turn down! Against the advice of my husband, I weighed-in this morning. I had honestly prepared myself mentally...I had it in my head that I had to have gained at least 5 lbs over the last 2 weeks. I mean, I'm being honest here...I haven't worked out since the 24th! And I've eaten more junk food than I can even list here. So I guess you wanna know how bad my weigh-in was...I lost 1.8 lbs! I am still baffled by it. I must've weighed and re-weighed 5 times on 2 different scales...

So I rejoice for that. The last time I lost weight and went to FL, I gained about 5 lbs while down there and when I got back it was downhill from there...I did not want that to happen this time. And it won't.

Tomorrow I am going to start my next 12-week BFL challenge. This go 'round I lost somewhere around 22 lbs--plus 4 or 5 lbs that I lost before my official BFL weigh-in. So yeah, I'm down about 26-27 lbs total. I still have about 20-25 to go. It seems like such a huge number, but at the same time I can see the finish line now. I said here before that I wanted to be in the best shape of my life by my 30th birthday. That falls exactly 4 months from tomorrow! I am determined to stay focused. And who knows, after another 12 weeks I might even post some "after" pictures :)

These are my goals for these next 12 weeks:
--Try different foods, using recipes out of the Eating For Life book...not just plain grilled chicken and broccoli for this chick anymore!
--Follow the BFL workout plan more closely...this might be hard, because the cardio is pretty restricted and the weight training is more intense.
--Drop these last 20 lbs or so!!! My goal weight might change, the closer I get to it (depending on my muscle)

Alright folks...There you have it! I came and I conquered...and now I'm doing it all over again! For now though, I'm icing my ankle/foot because I fell down the stairs today (yes, I'm a klutz) and it's throbbing. Hoping to zumba on it in the morning!

Punching, xo

Days 82 and 83

2009-06-27T22:33:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted much the past few days for a few reasons...right now I'm feeling a bit under the weather, hoping that the Mucinex I just took will help soon. I also took my "dose of gross" aka Emergen-C today. My head feels like it weighs 200 lbs, and the rest of me doesn't feel far behind.

Feeling sick doesn't make me want to work out. I can hardly breathe just sitting still, so its obvious that running is out of the question at the moment. On top of that, I haven't made the BEST food choices in the past few days. I've done ok but maybe had one or two things that are considered "off limits" the past two nights. Yes, I am on vacation and I'm out of my routine, but I don't want to fall off track...especially so close to the finish of this challenge!

Tomorrow is the final day of this 12-week journey. I will not be able to post my results until I get back to Nashville...I guess it is therefore a 13-week journey whether I like it or not! Truth be told its a lifetime journey. I feel like this will always be my vice, I will struggle with it forever. But at the same time I know that I can beat it. Baby steps or leaps...it doesn't matter how.

Punching, xo

Day 81

2009-06-26T00:15:00.000-04:00

I am literally just leaving Disney World! It was the most amazing, "magical" time...but I will write about it another time :)

We pretty much declared today as our free day about 5 minutes upon entering the gates of Disney haha. Let's just say it was well worth it. We did walk about 100 miles, though.

Smiling inside and out...soon to be sleeping!

Punching, xo

Day 80

2009-06-24T23:12:00.000-04:00

I can't believe there are only 4 more days left in my BFL challenge!

Today was filled with a crazy array of emotions. I felt a little under the weather this morning so I didn't workout first thing...I talked to my mom and we were feeling like our last week of the challenge wasn't going as smoothly as we had hoped. I knew before I started that it would end while I was in FL, but it's really hard to find a new groove while out of my comfort zone! Then I got some unsettling news (or the possibility of it) and that threw me for a loop as well.

I'm proud to say I didn't let my emotions get the best of me. Instead I got on the treadmill tonight and ran hard for 30 minutes, followed by some bowflexing :)

We did, however, enjoy birthday cake (yes another!) and ice cream tonight for Alana's soon-to-be birthday. I had only a tiny sliver of cake and a half scoop of ice cream. It was every bit of worth it, too!

I'm planning to sweat it all off at Disney tomorrow anyway!

Punching, xo

Day 79

2009-06-23T22:16:00.000-04:00

Not much to report today, but I wanted to post anyway...

Started off my day by running for 30 minutes on the treadmill and working up a really nice sweat. Ended the day at Cici's Pizza. Why? Because my dad's youth group went there and we followed. I thought they had a salad bar there--they did have salad, but it was pre-mixed with the dressing and stuff on it already. That kind of put a damper on my dinner "plan". So I admit...I did have 2 pieces of pizza tonight, but they were small! I passed on the dessert pizza and brownies, so I guess I did alright.

Now I'm watching tv before calling it a night!

Punching, xo

Day 78

2009-06-22T22:45:00.000-04:00

I started today off right...as soon as I could, I got on the treadmill. I have to admit I could tell I haven't worked out much in the past week. I ran/walked for 20 minutes and then I did some upper body stuff on my dad's Bowflex machine. It was HOT, but I was glad that I got it done before the 106 degree temps that came later!

We ate lunch at Chick Fil-A and tonight my dad took Alana and me to see the movie "Up". It was a great day overall, but I'm pooped.

I also read some of Jillian Michaels book "Winning By Losing" today and it was pretty cool. I'm a junkie when it comes to books and/or magazines that have to do with fitness.

I guess the biggest victory of my day was drinking an unsweet tea while the rest of my family enjoyed Frosties tonight...Mmmm. Honestly? I didn't have a problem passing it up AT ALL!!!

Punching, xo

Day 77

2009-06-21T22:26:00.000-04:00

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there who read this blog (um, my dad and Justin)! Its been a good day...a lot of drama from the little one this afternoon but nothing I couldn't fix with some grapes and wheat thins--for her, not me!

We ate lunch at Cracker Barrel (or Crack-up Barrel as Alana calls it). I had my usual grilled chicken, with green beans and turnip greens. Skipped the cornbread. I have found it hard to manage my food the past week or so. I don't eat too much, but I am finding myself not eating much at all...like if I don't have something BFL-approved on hand, I don't eat something "off limits" I just don't eat. I know that this, coupled with my lack of exercise as of late, is not a good thing.

I didn't workout today, either. FL is hot right now...we are talking sweltering heat. I can't go out the door without my glasses fogging up--and trust me, that makes me look awesome :) It is so hot that my dad's AC won't get below 82 no matter what he sets it on. I am laying here with not one, but two fans blowing on me and Alana sleeping next to me, sans pajamas. Now I am not trying to make excuses...but I didn't want to get on the treadmill at 10 p.m. when I can't even stop sweating just sitting here. I WILL get on the treadmill in the morning, though...I cannot lose my focus now.

It's almost funny, because I thought my problem would be with the food thing...that I would be tempted down here. I'm unbelievably amazed at how easily I sat holding Alana's doughnut this morning at church, not even wanting a nibble...I really have come a long way these past 11 weeks. And it feels good!

Punching, xo

Day 76

2009-06-20T21:14:00.000-04:00

I'm posting from yet another state tonight! We made it to FL safe and sound! I am super tired but I wanted to report anyway.

Weighed in a day early, because we were leaving this afternoon. I lost 2 lbs this week! I am super happy with that, especially at this point in my challenge AND considering my lack of workouts last week.

I made today my free day, because we were supposed to go eat with some of Nancy's family at my most favorite restaurant in town (Mt. Dora Pizza). I figured it was safer that way, since they don't have any BFL worthy food :) Alana was pretty grouchy, so we ended up eating take-out from there. I had baked spaghetti and greek salad. Ohhhh it was yummy!

Didn't get a workout in but I'm so tired and so full of food! I'm going to get on it tomorrow though for sure...

Punching, xo

Day 75

2009-06-19T22:57:00.004-04:00

Not much to report today...unfortunately! I woke up bright and early...then thought I was going to go to the Y, because Alana had KidFit. She decided that she didn't want to go for whatever reason, so we went to the splash park here in Smyrna instead. It was a nice change, and the water felt good considering it was 95+ degrees today!

I had planned to go to zumba tonight, so I didn't think it was any big deal that we missed the Y this morning...and then my brother called to say he was leaving town tonight and that I might not see him again before I go back to VA. He wanted to have dinner, and well, I can't say no to him :) I would choose dinner with Jonathan over zumba any night...and I LOVE zumba!

Then I planned to get on the treadmill tonight...that got squashed, too...So no workout today...I only went to the Y once all week, and that was for zumba Monday night. I REALLY feel like a loser! Just makes me realize how much I like working out, and how much better it makes me feel!

I will be weighing in tomorrow instead of Sunday, because I am leaving for FL and won't be here to weigh-in like normal. I am SUPER excited to be going to FL, but I admit I'm a bit nervous about the last 9 days of my challenge...Here's to staying focused while on vacation in sunny FL!

Punching, xo

Day 74

2009-06-18T21:38:00.000-04:00

Back in TN! I left Norfolk at 2:25 a.m. and I'm still awake...barely! I DID make it back in time to go mail a package to Justin and take Alana to her last swim lesson! My eating has been the same as the last 2 days. I haven't eaten anything "off" plan, but I definitely haven't gotten 6 meals in, either. I didn't get a workout in...my arms are so sore from weed-eating yesterday. I will admit that while Alana was swimming at the Y, I was daydreaming--wishing that I was in the gym working out! I'm off to bed, as I have a day of packing tomorrow! We leave for FL on Saturday :)

Punching, xo

Day 73

2009-06-17T20:27:00.002-04:00

Phew, I'm exhausted!!! This is the first time I've taken a break since 5:45 this morning (Eastern time!) Its been a crazy busy day, but I managed to get everything I needed to get done, done--and some!

I barely ate again today...which isn't a good thing! By the time I did try to eat dinner, Chick Fil-A's chargrill was down...and of course I'd already paid for my sandwich...so I opted to eat a regular chicken breast BUT with the whole wheat bun instead. It was soooo yummy, too! I didn't "exercise" either, but I did mow two lawns, get two different decals for two different cars, as well as put air in all of their tires, dusted and swept my apartment, went to the doctor twice (no worries it was all good) and even managed to shop in between. All I want to do now is sleep, but I've got a load of laundry to finish first!

It's up before daylight to make the trek back to TN tomorrow! I'm glad...being home by myself has been too weird! In a way it's exciting though, because it means I'm that much closer to Justin being home! Driving over the water last night, I looked over at the pier and smiled...because it won't be long til I'm standing there watching my hubby walk off that ship!

Hoping to get a real workout in tomorrow!

Oh! I almost forgot!!! When I went to the dr I weighed in at like 22 lbs less than I did 3 months ago when I was there :)

Punching, xo

Day 72

2009-06-16T22:52:00.000-04:00

I've never posted a blog from my Blackberry, but there's a first time for everything so here goes! I am actually laying in MY bed in MY house on MY pillows...its so nice but really very weird, as I've never spent a night here without Justin OR Alana! I also don't have cable or internet, because I had it temporarily cut off while I've been in TN to save an extra $100 a month! Needless to say, its eerily quiet (except for the jet noise that comes with living in military housing).

My drive here was uneventful, which is a good thing! I made it here in 10 1/2 hours, only stopping twice the whole 700 miles :) I'm waiting for the lectures to start about how I need to get out and walk around! I found my home in one piece...my Beetle was still here, with no flat tires. And although my house stinks from being closed up so long...it's all good!

So, for today's update...I ate well, but very little as I was driving. I knew there was NO food here so I stopped and picked up Chick Fil-A before I got home...grilled chicken sammie and fruit. It was so boring that I was going to get on the treadmill and then realized I left all of my tennis shoes in TN. So I compromised and got in a good workout with my punching bag. And I also did lunges and some arms and planks. So yeah...I did something anyway!

The most amazing part of my day was trying on jeans tonight from my closet. Pair after pair slipped right on...to the point I was flipping out! There were a few pairs (out of about a dozen) that still don't fit--but they are small anyway! OMG I was soooooooo pumped! They didn't even come close to fitting even the last time I was here in Norfolk.

I am focused and even more motivated to finish strong! I have a lot to accomplish tomorrow, but for now I'm going to watch Twilight...yes, I am awesome.

Punching, xo (quite literally tonight!)

Day 71

2009-06-15T22:45:00.002-04:00

I have been dragging all day today...and I'm pretty sure it was thanks to the sugar overload yesterday. It's nice to feel awful after a free day, though. It reminds me how bad I felt on a regular basis before starting this challenge. Alana had a pretty rough night last night, and consequently so did my mom and me! I didn't want to leave for Norfolk today, so I put it off til tomorrow...and I still don't want to go...but I need to!

My mom and Alana went to watch Liam tonight. I found myself sitting here alone and bored, and I started to think I was hearing the cake and ice cream leftover from yesterday talking to me. BUT instead of caving and giving in like I would typically do...I went to the Y and did 45 minutes of zumba! I didn't go this morning, and I didn't workout Saturday or Sunday...so I was having major withdrawals. I am so proud of myself for channeling that boredom towards something physically active instead of sitting here and scarfing down junk. Victory is mine! And the self-discipline paid off!

I'm still bored...but I'm also tired and going to bed soon. Tomorrow is going to be a long day!

Punching, xo

Days 69 and 70

2009-06-15T00:02:00.003-04:00

I just realized we have TWO WEEKS left! Kind of wishing I didn't take full-on advantage of my free day today :) I didn't post last night, because my friend Felicia came into town for Alana's birthday party today. We went to dinner at Cracker Barrel and spent time catching up. It was nice! I've missed her! By the time everyone went to bed and called it a night, I was exhausted...as in, too tired to even post a blog. I kind of slacked anyways...well, on the exercise. I didn't work out, but I did eat according to plan. I have heard that's like 80% of the battle anyway :)

Today was Alana's party...I planned it strategically on a Sunday (or Free Day as we know it in this house). We seriously had a house full of sugar, and I am regretting every bite of it that I ate at this moment. My mom and I were talking about it tonight...We always feel AWFUL by the end of Sunday--craving some food that is good for us. This helps me realize how great what we are doing really is. We have changed those habits that I thought would never be broken.

I was planning to go back to Norfolk in the morning to take care of a few things before we go to FL this coming weekend...but I am SO tired that I am going to wait until Tuesday to go now.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot!!! I had my weigh-in this morning, and I lost another pound. One exactly. I'm so excited though, because I hit my next "decade" of numbers on the scale! Woohoo!!!

I want the last 2 weeks of my first BFL program to be as focused as the first 2 weeks!

Punching, xo

Day 68

2009-06-13T00:52:00.002-04:00

It's almost midnight and I'm just now getting around to posting! It's been a good and busy day...I woke up SORE this morning...I am totally loving it, though! It's been a while. I guess Justin felt the need to end our sessions on a painful note :) I went to the Y regardless, because Alana had KidFit today. I got in a good 30 minute run on the treadmill. It's scary, but I actually enjoyed it! It feels so good to be able to run without feeling like I'm going to pass out in a minute.

Spent some time outside with Alana and Caitlyn (my mom's neighbor) while they played. I love sitting on the front porch swing, feeling the breeze and listening to Alana laugh over the sound of wind chimes. It's the simple things in life! We went to Logan's for a late lunch/early dinner with my mom. It was yummy, as usual.

I got another call from Justin today, too! Gosh, I was so excited to talk to him...and then he got all emotional and choked up on the phone. It was the hardest thing, having to hang up the phone knowing that he was feeling the way he was...It KILLS him not being able to be here for monumental moments...like Alana's birthday parties...and at the same time he is willing to make that sacrifice for our family. So it's hard...

It has become my Friday night tradition to go to zumba :) Alana and I went back to the Y tonight and I did an hour of zumba...with yet ANOTHER instructor! She was awesome, though...Lots of squats and lunges in her routines tonight! I am probably gonna be laid up all day tomorrow!

Punching, xo

Day 67

2009-06-11T22:00:00.002-04:00

Hello folks. Thought I'd introduce you to my favorite trainer, Justin. I know it's kind of late, being as today was my last workout with him...sniff, sniff...

Me and J-Gro
(love how sweaty my shirt is post workout haha)

I felt like it I was going to a funeral today. It was sad. I said I was still in denial. Justin said he was working towards the acceptance stage :) I have thoroughly enjoyed the 20 sessions that I have worked out with Justin. He has helped me in so many ways...I obviously have to do the work, but he has pushed me past what I thought were my limits. How far I've come since that first day when I puked into the trash can while he held it...I told him today that I almost had eggs for breakfast, just for old time's sake.

After our workout, I did 20 minutes on the Arc...Eating has been smooth sailing today...and I got my hair cut. It's been a busy day. It could've been a day of mourning...but I say it's the start of what I was talking about yesterday--my SELF-discipline!

Punching, xo

Days 64-66

2009-06-10T16:51:00.004-04:00

I have been slacking on my blog...For that, I am sorry. I am gonna try to clump the last few days together into one post, to the best of my ability. Here's the recap:

Monday-Zuuuuuumba...followed by 10 minutes on the Arc and a lot of minutes of Alana acting crazy and making me want to pull my hair out.

Tuesday-Workout with Justin...He had me warming up on the elliptical on Level SEVENTEEN. Ok, seriously...when I started this jazz a couple of months ago, Level 4 made me want to pass out. Once again, I conquered. After the session, I did another 20 minutes on the Arc. And once again...I had a VERY stressful day with Alana. It's overwhelming sometimes. I am not a single parent, but sometimes it feels that way. I am blessed to have my mom here, though...We are learning to laugh through the tantrums (to keep from crying haha) I ended the day with a bowl of Lucky Charms and some Cheeze-Its for dinner. Awesome, right? I don't know what the deal was...it was just one of those days. I hate feeling like I'm back in the trap of eating for reasons other than being hungry or to fuel my body...Baby steps!

And today (Wednesday)-Zumba this morning, along with 20 minutes on the elliptical and a much better behaved child. The day is not over, but I am determined to stay on track with my eating today!

I came across this website this morning, and it is all about self-discipline. I ordered a bracelet for both my mom and myself that says just that. I want to remind myself that no one else can do this but me. I told my mom today that I want to finish this 12-weeks as strong (if not stronger) than I started it...and what happens at the end of the 12-weeks? I start another 12-week challenge...This is for LIFE...and it's working for me :)

On an upbeat and makes-me-smile-a-big-cheesy-smile-while-I-type-this note...JUSTIN CALLED ME TODAY!!! He is in port, and I have not talked to him for quite a while--like a total of 10 minutes in the past 3 1/2 months...It was very nice to hear his voice and he had lots of sweet words to say. So thankful for him.

Oh, and tomorrow is my last workout with Trainer Justin...sigh.

Punching, xo

Day 63

2009-06-07T22:16:00.002-04:00

I don't usually post too many pictures on this blog, but I'm too lazy to post 2 today...No, really I just don't have that much material :)

Yes, I'm posing like a dork...
Alana was refusing to take a picture with me outside, because the sun was too bright!

So we moved inside...
Liam SO wanted to be in the picture with us!

So we let him!

One more...
Then time for church!

We missed our official Sunday pictures last week (the ones we send to Justin), so we had to be sure to get them today. My hair was wet, thanks to poor planning...and yes, I am wearing a skirt that shows my LEGS! Hopefully you won't be blinded by the reflection of their lack of color :)

Today was weigh-in day...Guess what?! I lost THREE pounds exactly! I was soooooo excited when I stepped on the scale. I honestly had no idea what to expect, considering how crazy my week has been...go figure. I will not complain, though. I am encouraged by this!

It's been a fun day...After church, we had a block party on my mom's street. It was amazing! They had a big jumpy thing for the kids, music, dancing, lots of food...it was 95 degrees at one point, though. Ugh. I don't know how I survived my first 21 years in FL weather haha. Now my mom and I are watching "He's Just Not That Into You", even though I saw it in the theater with Justin before he left. I probably won't make it through the entire thing tonight...I'm spent! And I need to get my rest for zumba tomorrow morning!

WEEK 10 here I come...

Punching, xo

Day 62

2009-06-06T23:57:00.002-04:00

First, a birthday shout out to my trainer Justin today. I'm shouting, but he won't know because he doesn't even know I have a blog and he's definitely not cool enough to read it :) Regardless, Happy Birthday to Justin G.

It's late and I have had an amazing, fun-filled day!

We went shopping--My mom, Alana and I...Literally, we were gone for over 8 hours! I can't tell you how long it's been since we've done that. It used to be a fairly common occurrence, though. I kept saying, "Wow, it feels like the good ol' days..." Alana was such a good sport! She didn't have any meltdowns the entire time, which TRUST ME is a victory in itself :) AND...I got some new workout apparel...SHORTS!!! This is a huge huge huge deal, because I normally loathe the thought of myself in anything above the knee :)

I ate great today, even though we were out for most of it. I missed my workout, though. By the time we got home, the Y was closed...and Alana is sleeping upstairs with me tonight, so the treadmill is out of the question. I won't beat myself up over it. My mom and I laughed hard enough, that I feel like that clearly counts as an ab workout--SOMEthing! We are in the process of making these index card boxes that will hold workout cards...Let's just say it turned into like an 8th grade slumber party over here, and my mom and I were getting goofier by the minute with it.

Tomorrow morning is my weigh-in...Not really looking forward to it this week. It's been crazy, being as I was sick at the beginning of the week. I haven't written down one thing in my BFL journal since last week at this time. We shall see what that proves. I have still been following my eating plan and worked out most days, just didn't write it in my book. I will definitely be sure to update tomorrow with my progress!

So thankful for such a wonderful day...

Punching, xo

Day 61

2009-06-05T21:43:00.002-04:00

Happy Friday! Today was another double workout day! I had to go to the Y this morning, because of KidFit :) I ran for 20 minutes and did the Arc for 10 and then I was done. I saw Justin and was chatting with him a bit...he said I didn't seem as "effervescent" as I normally do. That's a weird choice of words, I know--makes me think of Alka Seltzer...but that's just my trainer for ya! I told him I just didn't have it in me for some reason. Usually I get there and immediately become motivated. My run was good, but by the time I got on the Arc I felt like I needed a nap. I guess I need to just listen to my body.

Tonight, we all went back to the Y. "We all" being my mom, Alana and I. I usually can't take Alana twice in one day...there are time limits! But since we only spent 45 minutes there this morning, she still had some time. I did zumba, while my mom worked out her cardio (this is a reference to that amazing Nashville commercial for all y'all locals!) Zumba was fun, but we only did ONE routine I knew tonight in an hour...and there was a 6-foot tall lady in front of me, blocking my view from the instructor. Every time I'd move, she'd move...It's all good, though. I managed :) Can I say that my pants kept falling down, too?! Gotta love drawstrings!

Alana fell asleep on the couch tonight. She was soooo worn out! I'm hoping she sleeps good so that the rest of us can, too! She had exercise class, played outside with the neighbor kids, jumped on the trampoline and then went back to the Y and ran around outside...The weather was BEAUTIFUL today. I asked my mom if it would be possible to somehow freeze frame the weather for the rest of eternity...

Hoping for another beautiful one tomorrow!

Punching, xo

Day 60

2009-06-04T21:15:00.002-04:00

I have a feeling I might have to crawl to my computer to post tomorrow :) This morning I had my first workout with Justin in a week. He didn't have any sort of sympathy for me having been sick, and he surely didn't go easy on me! That's what makes him a good trainer! It was a lot of burning muscles...a lot of sweat POURING off of me...and a lot of him saying "Don't quit, keep going, get up!!!" Hahaha.

I was starving today...I didn't eat anything off plan, though. I have just been super hungry and can't quench my thirst for anything. We ate dinner at Logan's tonight, as a farewell to my Grandma who is going to SC for a little while to visit. I had grilled chicken and broccoli and salad, unsweet tea.

On a NSV note...I had to change my clothes after a quick trip to the party store today (to pick up party supplies for Alana's upcoming party). My shorts were FALLING off of me. Like, to the point Alana was like "Mommy, pull your pants up" haha. And these are shorts that were super tight when I went home not too long ago. So I put on some jeans that I wore just a couple of weeks ago that were pretty tight...and they were loose!!! It's so crazy...It totally excited me and keeps me wanting more :)

Enough of all that baggy clothes talk...for NOW!

Punching, xo

Day 59

2009-06-03T21:10:00.003-04:00

Feeling 100 million % better than I did yesterday...Or as Alana would say, "A hundred meeeellion beeeeeellion" haha. It must've been a 24 hour bug, because it literally came and went in almost exactly 24 hours!

So after a good night's rest, I got up this morning and went to zumba. It is getting ridiculous how packed that class is now that school's out. I am so glad that I pretty much have the routines down, otherwise I'd be tripping over people left and right. It's just...that...crowded. Eating has been good, and I'm going to work out with Justin again in the morning. It's been a week! I'm sure he's going to kill me...

It's been a fun and busy day...Now I have to get Alana to bed and follow soon behind her.

Punching, xo

Days 57 and 58

2009-06-02T13:47:00.000-04:00

My lack of posting last night was unintentional. I was overtaken by horrible stomach pains and nausea, which have somewhat subsided. I was up ALL night sick, so I had to cancel my workout session with Justin this morning. My mom picked me up some gatorade and I've been sipping on that today while Alana is happily playing with her friend from across the street. She starts swimming lessons this evening, so I hope that I feel well enough to go sit at the Y while she has fun!

Yesterday morning, my mom and I took our 8-week pictures. Again, I was amazed at how much my body has transformed in just 8 weeks. It's funny because if you just look at the after pictures, they don't look that spectacular...until you see the before pictures! You will just have to take my word for it :) I was so excited to workout after seeing them, that I went to zumba followed by 20 minutes on the ARC (at a higher level than usual).

As far as eating goes, yesterday started off well...Sometime after I ate lunch my stomach started hurting and I just felt off. I definitely didn't eat anything "bad"...I just barely ate anything at all. Today I have yet to attempt eating, though I am gonna have to soon. The gatorade isn't gonna hold me over much longer. I'm just scared after a long night of throwing up...sorry if that's TMI, but it's reality.

Another bump in the road, but not one that's gonna stop me...maybe just slow me down a little.

Punching, xo

Days 55 and 56

2009-05-31T22:02:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I know I didn't post last night...It was honestly just me being lazy, taking the night off! I didn't even email Justin before I went to bed...and that's NOT normal.

I had my weigh-in this morning and did my 8-week measurements. Didn't get to do my pictures, because my mom was not home this morning...We will do them tomorrow or the next day, though. I lost 0.8 lbs and another 5 inches or so. I get really frustrated on Sundays. I was telling my mom at lunch today that it's hard because every other "diet" I have done (ie, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Atkins...the list goes on) I have lost weight pretty quickly and steadily. And usually I do not exercise as much as I should...She agreed but was quick to point out that I've also GAINED the weight back every time. I have most likely lost muscle all of those times, instead of this time where I know I am gaining it. Which brings me to what I've learned this week.

My new mantra is: "I am a golf ball...I AM a golf ball..."

Let me explain :) My mom was reading a different weight loss-type book this week. It was one she had read 5 or 6 years ago and just decided to pick back up. In the book, it uses the example of a golf ball vs a tennis ball. A golf ball is smaller than a tennis ball, but it weighs more. I am still 30 lbs heavier than I was 2 years ago at this time...And yet, I managed to put on some jeans that I wore then (albeit, they were too tight to wear). Point is, I couldn't so much as get them over my knees a month ago. I don't want the scale to dictate my progress, but as a female I just think it's hard to get past that. We want to see that number go down just as we want the sizes of our clothing to. So I keep telling myself that I am a golf ball. I am smaller than I was, even though I don't weigh a lot less. I am down about 19 lbs since I got to Nashville about 10 weeks ago.

I am determined to keep going. I could honestly keep this routine up for the rest of my life...as far as eating "clean" Monday-Saturday and then having the free Sunday. It seriously takes away all the madness of feeling deprived. I ate what I wanted today...no holding back. I had chips and salsa at lunch...I had a Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty this afternoon (mmm)...and a cheeseburger Happy Meal for dinner. Do I feel bad about it? No. I enjoyed my day and I know that tomorrow morning, I will be at zumba not even thinking about it. This is the way that I have to do things. I want to be focused, but I do not want my weight to dictate how I feel. I have a history of being an "all-or-nothing" kinda person...and I want that to change. I want to do this right...and you know, the slower it comes off...the longer it will stay there.

Punching, xo

Day 54

2009-05-29T22:39:00.000-04:00

Ooooooooh yeah.

What an amazing Friday :) We went to the Y this morning, so Alana could go to her KidFit class and I could get my cardio in. I emailed Justin and told him that "I only did 40 minutes of cardio" and then laughed at myself. Who'd have thought that statement would ever come from my mouth? When we got home, I got a quick shower and we went with my mom and grandma to Murfreesboro for an appointment my grandma had...Then we hit up one of my favorite places to eat, Jason's Deli. Mmmm.

My mom and Alana went to spending the evening with Liam. I got caught up on all my shows on the DVR and thought about taking a nap...Grandma was sleeping and it was WAY too quiet in this house. Then I decided that instead of sleeping, I'd go zumba. That's right my friends, I went BACK to the Y and did an hour of zumba tonight. It was SO much fun. I swear it gets better every time. This time was with my fourth instructor...and I've liked each one better :) When I came down the stairs after class, Justin was standing there smiling. "Zumba?" Haha. Then he told me to go do some cardio. I told him I already did my cardio for the day and he said to do some more. Then he told me to go stretch...After a bunch of arguing, I told him I would go home and stretch out on my couch :) Which is what I did...eventually.

It's still quiet in the house...My mom and Alana have yet to return, and the only noise is the tv blaring in my grandma's room, down the hall. I don't know how she sleeps with that thing so loud! I've cleaned what I can clean, the laundry is done and folded and put away...so the only thing left to do is crawl into my bed and read--or go to sleep early.

I wish everyday felt like today has...

Punching, xo

Day 53

2009-05-28T20:45:00.000-04:00

Another day down...It's been a SUPER busy day for me. I usually go to the gym in the morning and then after that it's pretty chill. Today I didn't stop until, oh, 10 minutes ago. I decided I better post now, before I fall asleep :)

Had a really great workout this morning with Justin. I just feel like I am getting so much stronger. I have 3 more workouts with him, and I'm hoping I can keep it up when I'm done. Cardio is a cinch for me to do on my own...but the weights are a different story! I have been writing down what I do with him each session, so hopefully I can make up my own workouts loosely based on what we've done.

Eating was also good. My grandma won a "free" dinner for 6 at the Catfish House, so we went (along with Lindsay and Liam) and ate. It was kind of funny, you know...if it seems too good to be true then it probably is, right? Well, it turns out that it was a Fire Safety Presentation and we would've had to go sit in this one room with a bunch of other people and eat what they gave us :) We opted to stay out in the main restaurant and order what we wanted, free or not. I had grilled scallops and turnip greens...a few pieces of fried okra, but definitely didn't go overboard!

Just a few more days until our 8-week weigh-in, measuring, and pictures! We'll see how much "progress" I have made!

Punching, xo

Day 52

2009-05-27T22:50:00.000-04:00

I'm back! I never went anywhere, but yesterday I felt like I was somewhere else...

Went to zumba this morning! It was amazing, as always. I love that class, because it gets easier to follow with every class I attend...and it goes by SO fast! I was actually sad when they said we had to stop because the next class was coming in...Love it! Then I did 20 minutes on the Arc...23 if you want to get all technical :)

My eating is back on track today. I'm strangely proud to say that last night I went to bed feeling MISERABLE. This was a good thing, though. It reminds me how much better I feel when I feed my body what it really needs and not what I think I want.

Special love and thanks to Brooke...I know I'm not in this alone anyway, but friend--you make me feel so much better about things on a daily basis. You're amazing!

Gotta go finish up my special "Father's Day" package for Justin and get to bed. Session with the other Justin first thing in the morning!

Punching, xo

Day 51

2009-05-27T08:40:00.000-04:00

We all have them...Yesterday was one of those days. It started off pretty good, but by about 4 or 5 p.m. started slowly going downhill. I wish I could say what was wrong, but I don't know. I had an amazing workout with Justin in the morning, followed by some more cardio on the Arc. Alana didn't put up a fuss about going to the gym (which I was very thankful for!)...I came home and cleaned and booked our flights to FL! I was very excited about that. Maybe that's what set me over the edge--the uncertainty and stepping out of my little comfort zone I've created here. Well, let's just say that the leftover pizza in the fridge was screaming my name and I broke. I ate it. On a Tuesday. (Then I threw the rest in the trash) Later, I ate some Lucky Charms. All the while, I was telling myself not to do it. It's frustrating, because I like to be in control. And plainly put, it sucks not feeling like you have control. Maybe that's my problem. I am trying to take control...The good news? Today is a new day. Brand...spanking...new. And I am on my way to the gym in a little while to work out. Progress, not perfection...

Punching, xo

Day 50

2009-05-25T23:21:00.000-04:00

Happy Memorial Day!

We skipped the bbq today, after the rotten day of eating yesterday :) Let's see...first thing this morning, I hit the gym--only to find that so did everyone else! It was sooo super crowded! The Y was only opened from 8-4 today, so I think that everyone who usually is working during the hours I go was there...as were those who go at night. I got in 30 minutes on the Arc, which is a feat in itself. Then I attempted to find another form of cardio, and there wasn't a single machine open. My mom was home with Alana and had to train with Justin, so I had to get back home. When I got here, I jumped on the treadmill and ran 2.5 miles! It felt amazing! I ate wonderfully today...We did get the Chick Fil-A dinner in :) Can't go wrong there!

On a total non-BFL related subject, I am excited as we are planning a trip to FL next month for Alana's birthday/visiting ALL of our family there! It should be so much fun! Lots to do! I was just watching Jon and Kate Plus 8 (sad, to say the least) and Kate kept saying how she can't believe the sextuplets turned 5...I feel her pain! I can't believe Alana is going to be 5, either. And can I just say that despite all the tabloid drama going on with that family...I honest to goodness just want to hug them both. I know their confusion. I've felt it. I just pray that they can muster through whatever this is they're going through...God is bigger than it all! Wow, I got sidetracked there but I'm not deleting it :) But back to the FL thing. I've already been advised that I have a way to workout no matter who I'm visiting in FL! Yay for motivation and catering people!

Hoping for an amazing workout with Justin in the morning!

Punching, xo

Day 49

2009-05-24T22:31:00.001-04:00

Yes, I'm a dork. I post pictures of myself on my blog. My weigh-in was not as successful as I'd like to have thought it would be...I lost 0.4 lbs, woo-flippin-hoo. The good news is that I wore this size MEDIUM shirt today :) This is another nice NSV.

Soooo...Today has been pretty much all over the place for me emotionally. I can't piece my thoughts together well enough to blog about it. The biggest thing has been this. I have tried to think of how to write this post with it still making clear and perfect sense, but I don't know that it's possible. I pretty much ate like crap today. I ate some chocolate, I ate some starbursts (only 2)...We had pizza for dinner, which I only ate one piece and was done...but THEN I hit up the dessert pizza and ate enough of that to make up for it. The worst part is that it was all just mindless, emotional eating. I hate it. It doesn't matter how much I miss my husband or how tired I am or how badly I want to sleep in my own bed sometimes...I shouldn't be eating to make it better. It's all a big learning curve, right?

We started a sermon series in James today, which happens to be one of my favorite books of the Bible. The pastor said something that got to me...maybe not in the way he had planned for it to, but regardless it did. He said how lucky we are that we don't have to be perfect to follow Christ. He doesn't make us wait til we've reached perfection (and thank goodness, because we would never get there)...But He takes us AS WE ARE and loves us just the same. So who cares if I only lost 0.4 lbs. This is about progress, not perfection...and I am loved no matter what the scale says.

And knowing that, this week I am going to push harder and go stronger...

Punching, xo

Day 48

2009-05-23T23:02:00.000-04:00

Today was a great day! I ate my weight in watermelon, and we had a yummy dinner that my mom cooked out for us. Mmm. I just got off the treadmill--I had a late workout tonight. So it goes some days. I figured I needed to get my butt moving since tomorrow morning is my weigh-in...I REALLY didn't want to, though!

Lindsay and Liam came over tonight and we had turkey burgers (my mom grilled them!) and sweet potato fries. I can tell that the BFL thing has changed me, because I was saying how I would rather eat that meal than any fast food burger and fries. Grandma didn't agree with me, but hey it's hard to break a 70 year old's habits :) She did however devour every bite of hers! Alana kept saying how delicious the meal was...

Looking forward to our free day tomorrow! We get to spend most of it with my favorite little nephew! That's enough to brighten anyone's day! But for now, I need to go email my favorite sailor and call it a night.

Punching, xo

Day 47

2009-05-22T19:19:00.000-04:00

I'm writing this while sitting on my mom's front porch, soaking in the amazing weather! I could seriously sit out here for hours. Alana is playing across the street with all the neighborhood kids...It's gonna be hard to go home!

I woke up in the middle of the night last night, only to realize that I was already super sore! When I actually got out of bed this morning, I hobbled down the stairs and ate some ibuprofen for breakfast :) Today was Alana's exercise class, so we headed off the to Y without a fight (of course!) Even though I was sore, I did 20 minutes on the treadmill and then another 20 minutes on the Arc. My mom is at the Y working out with Justin right now. I sent her with the message that he did his job yesterday! I am pretty glad that I'm sore, if I'm being honest. It lets me know that I worked as hard as I thought I did!

The eating this has been fine, but when Grandma made a hawaiian pizza for lunch today, I had to go upstairs and take a shower. It smelled soooo good (and I smelled soooo bad haha). She offered me a piece, which I reluctantly turned down. If it would've been Sunday, that pizza would've been so gone! I have a weakness, what can I say? I might have to order some Papa John's on Sunday night. When I lived with my mom before, we used to order it every Sunday night and watch Desperate Housewives :)

I can't believe another week has come to an end. It seems like time is flying by so fast. In a way it's good...but it's also my life that is flying by! And Alana's starting school soon!!! Ahhh!!!

Here's to a fantastic weekend!

Punching, xo

Day 46

2009-05-21T22:29:00.000-04:00

What a great day! I trained with Justin this morning...It was fantastic, as always. He asked me first thing if I was sore at all after our last workout. I feel like there is never a good answer to that question, but I answered honestly and said no...He said, "Not even a little bit?" Again, I hesitated and said "Nope, not even one bit." This was followed by, "Mrs. P we are gonna have to change that today!" I might regret my honesty in the morning! I will admit that I enjoy a little muscle soreness these days, though...as long as I can move! After my 35 minutes with Justin, I did 20 minutes on the Arc...He said I owed him 15 minutes, but I go above and beyond :)

After coming home and getting a shower, we hit up our other two favorite places...Chick Fil-A and Target! Then Alana and I headed over to Nashville to stay with Liam while Lindsay took Jon to the airport. (He was napping)...We SO wanted to wake him up and love on him, but we resisted...this time! Sunday, he will be fair game, though!!!

It's really been a great day. I couldn't ask for much more...

Punching, xo

Day 45

2009-05-20T20:24:00.000-04:00

I'm posting earlier than usual tonight, because I plan on watching the American Idol finale. Fingers crossed for Kris Allen. PLEASE America...I'm begging!

Ok, so enough about that...Today is coming to a close. For that I am thankful. Another day that started off pretty crummy. Alana was screaming and throwing a fit about not wanting to go to the Y. This is a new thing, considering she usually loves to go. She said she just wanted to stay home all day and play. At first, I threw up my hands and took off my tennis shoes. I thought I would rather stay home and get on the treadmill here than fight with her. Then my mom knocked some much-needed sense into me and told me that she can't be boss. It's true. So I almost literally drug her to the gym...(and yes, she had a great time once she got there)

Once we got there, I hit up the treadmill (all the Arcs were occupied) for 30 minutes. I did another good run...I'm so impressed with my endurance, I know I sound like a broken record! Then by the time I got off there were 3 out of 4 Arcs empty, so I did 15 minutes on the Arc...I had to go pick up my Grandma from physical therapy, so I had to get out of there.

And now, my day is done...

Punching, xo

Days 43 and 44

2009-05-19T22:07:00.000-04:00

I know I didn't post last night...Truth is, I didn't even open my computer. It was just one of those days. I don't have any other excuses! I'm having major issues with my child! We had a super busy, long day on Sunday...but the way she was acting yesterday was beyond a sleepy mood. It gets a bit wearing...Thank goodness I'm here at my mom's. It's hard being a "single parent". I am a very patient person, but my buttons have been pushed way too many times in the past 48 hours! All that being said, I love being a mom and wouldn't trade it for the world! And I love Alana more than anything!

I tried on two separate occasions to go to the Y yesterday and work out...neither was successful! I am not gonna go into the gory details, but see the above paragraph :) I could have gotten on the treadmill here, but I was so frazzled that didn't happen either. Today I worked out with Justin. It seemed like forever since I had a session with him, and we did some pretty good stuff! I was enjoying every minute...I missed two days of working out, and it seemed like two months. That's a good sign, right?

The food thing has been a pain in my butt the past two days also. I haven't eaten anything bad...I think the problem was our lack of groceries. If the food isn't there, you can't eat it...and you have to scrounge around to figure out what you can eat to stay on plan. I figure if the worst thing I eat is Fiber One cereal with skim milk, the world will not end...We all equally loathe grocery shopping in this house. My mom finally gave in and made the trip tonight! So I'm hoping for a better tomorrow! Alana and I did enjoy a yummy meal with Uncle Jonny and Liam at Zaxby's today...I had a salad with grilled chicken. Let's face it, not a lot to choose from that is healthy on that menu :)

I am ridiculously tired, because as if yesterday wasn't long enough...my mom woke me up in the middle of the night, doubled over in pain. She was seriously ill. She is not the type of person to be complaining about not feeling well, and she practically crawled up the stairs to my room and said she wanted to be in there "in case something happened to her". This of course freaked me out. Then she asked me to take her blood pressure...I did, and it was super low, as was her heart rate. After she finally got a little rest, she is MUCH MUCH better today, but please pray for her...I hope whatever it was that hit her last night never shows its ugly face again!

There will always be obstacles, but it's what we do when we reach them that matters...

Punching, xo

Day 42...HALF...WAY...DAY!!!

2009-05-17T22:02:00.000-04:00

Exhibit A:
THE MINI DOUGHNUTS

Exhibit B:
ME EATING THE FIRST BITE OF THE MINI DOUGHNUT
(sans make-up sorry for that!)

I weighed in today...Most likely by now, everyone who reads my blog already knows how much I lost, but for those who don't I shall share! I lost 1.6 lbs this week...I am thrilled with that! Whodathunkit? It means that I've lost exactly 5 lbs in the past 2 weeks, and I'm almost sure that I will continue to lose at a good pace. My body is finally giving in and giving up on resisting the change.

So my mini doughnut (which you can see, is barely big enough to capture on film) was amazing. I admit, I ate TWO. I still don't even think that 2 equal one regular size doughnut...But anywho, I ate two and was able to walk away and be done with it...didn't feel the least bit of remorse, either :) For lunch, we ate at Cracker Barrel. While I didn't eat anything too terribly awful, I probably ate MORE than I needed to of it...and I felt it too! That's the best part of the "free" day. You eat like you used to and remember how horrible it makes you feel...physically and mentally. I was honestly giving my system a good halfway shock today. Tomorrow, it's back to the grind.

I am so happy and so proud of myself for making it this far into my journey, while still being completely focused. Most people who know me, know that one of my biggest issues is actually finishing what I start. I would like to say right now, that for me...this is a life change. I am not going back...no way, no how.

It is, after all "Body for LIFE"...

Punching, xo

Day 41

2009-05-16T21:31:00.000-04:00

Saturdays are always fun, because we (my mom and I) know that the next day is FREE! We haven't really indulged since the beginning, but being as tomorrow is the end of our first 6 weeks--that's right we are HALF WAY--there are some Krispy Kremes in the kitchen waiting to be eaten in the morning. :) I wish I could say I was kidding, but I'm not. I still haven't decided if I will eat one or not...I guess that decision will most likely be made post weigh-in. Who am I kidding? I will eat one. If I lose weight, I will eat one because I feel safe to do so...and if I don't lose weight, I will eat one to treat the emotions haha. They ARE mini doughnuts...if that's any consolation!

OOOOOOK. So today was good. I got up first thing and did my workout with weights at home. I put off the cardio for later...and then when I had my shoes laced up, it decided to storm so bad outside that I was scared to leave for the gym. I waited...and waited...and waited...and then, I went! I did 20 minutes on the Arc and then 20 minutes on the rowing machine!

I am super tired...and I am also super excited because (I think) I am meeting up with a good friend tomorrow to catch up and let our kiddos play. I am not sure who is more excited, actually--me or Alana! Praying for good weather!

Tomorrow is weigh-day! I will post my results, good or bad!

Punching, xo

Day 40

2009-05-15T22:25:00.000-04:00

The day started off a bit rough...Alana was melting down over everything, and after I took Advil PM to sleep last night...well, I was sluggish and not wanting to deal with it :) Once we got to the gym, everything got better though!

While Alana had her exercise class, I killed it on the Arc and then on the treadmill. I cannot even explain how much better my endurance is in such a short time. A couple of months ago, I couldn't even run for a minute without wanting to die...Today I ran for 25 of 30 minutes--and survived! It's kind of embarrassing because my face gets ridiculously red when I run...but my mom says I just need to get over it :) I think she's right!

I'm going to attempt to make it to zumba in the morning...it's my new found love. Well, I have a love/hate relationship with it. I love to go, and I hate to feel as uncoordinated as it makes me feel at times!

Week 6 is coming to an end very soon!!!

Punching, xo

Day 39

2009-05-14T23:14:00.000-04:00

I just finished watching the very intense season finale of Grey's Anatomy. OH MY GOODNESS! I think I held my breath for the last 20 minutes! I have had a love/hate relationship with the show this season, but the past few have recaptured me :)

But anyways, enough about that! Today was a great day. I had my workout with Justin this morning...He told me at one point that I did "not amazing or awesome but brilliant!" That made me feel so good! I was excited to be there today. My mom and I have both decided that we are becoming gym junkies for sure! It's so nice to be craving that instead of something unhealthy!

I've really been trying to keep my intensity up on my cardio and just give it my all everyday. I know that whether or not the scale is moving, and no matter what size pants I'm still wearing...I am accomplishing so much already. This is a new life...and I'm so thankful to be living it!

Punching, xo

Day 38

2009-05-13T22:53:00.000-04:00

Well, well...another day down! I did zumba again today for my cardio! An hour of that will make ya sweat! It was my 3rd class, and each one has been better and better! I'm really lovin' it! After zumba, I went downstairs for another 20 minutes on the Arc trainer. Phew, I could've wrung the sweat out of my clothes and filled a bucket :)

I went to Old Navy this afternoon and used my Mother's Day giftcard to buy new workout pants. I desperately needed some! I have been wearing and washing 2 pairs (after having to retire my sweats)...that can get quite tiresome. It was exciting to buy them...it makes me want to hurry and go to the gym so I can wear them! Good thing I have a scheduled workout in the morning :)

On the way home from my shopping trip, I took Grandma and Alana through two different drive-thrus for cheeseburgers and fries. Don't ask haha. Grandma wanted Sonic and Alana wanted a Happy meal. I aim to please. Throw in the hot apple pies Grandma ordered, and my car was smelling like a fast food joint. I ordered an unsweetened tea at Sonic, and I came home and heated up leftover grilled chicken from last night's dinner...It was such a huge deal for me. Why? Because I didn't even feel deprived. I didn't want to eat the fast food. Although, I admit it did smell quite tasty :) Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels (or so they say). I have never been skinny so I don't know that...YET!

Thankful for another NSV!

Punching, xo

Day 37

2009-05-12T23:44:00.001-04:00

I just finished watching the season finale of The Biggest Loser. I must say that I watched the most recent episodes with so much more respect for the contestants. I see how I have busted my butt in the gym, only to lose 1/2 a lb a week at times...and these people work out 6-8 hours a day, sometimes losing the same. But seeing the finale...Seeing how much these people have accomplished on their own...it was just inspiring!

Today was a good day. I worked out with Justin this morning and then this afternoon I journeyed off to the 'boro for my massage! Ooooh, it was so nice and so needed! I am planning to go to zumba in the morning for my cardio. I guess that all depends on what time I wake up, being as it's already getting late :)

Punching, xo

Day 36

2009-05-11T20:26:00.000-04:00

I realized something today...When I did Weight Watchers the last time and I lost down to my lowest weight, I lost 16 lbs. I obviously didn't have as much to lose then as I have this go 'round, but it took me FOREVER to lose those 16 lbs. Since I've been in Nashville...I've lost between 15-16 lbs! In about 6 weeks! Looking at things from that perspective make me realize how much I've actually accomplished in such a short time.

Gym time today was cardio...the dreaded cardio! I knocked out an hour: 20 minutes on the Arc, 20 minutes on the bike, and 20 minutes running on the treadmill...It makes it a lot less monotonous when I break it up like that. And when I was done, I felt like a million bucks...a very sweaty million bucks :)

Off to wind down for the evening...I meet up with Justin in the morning for a workout!

Punching, xo

Day 35

2009-05-10T22:04:00.000-04:00

First and foremost, Happy Mother's Day! I know my day was full of fun and surprises! I already blogged about most of that here on my other blog...so I won't repeat!

Today's weigh-in was fantastic! I lost 3.4 lbs this week! I was serious when I said that I thought I had gained weight this week. I ate more than I have in the previous weeks, and I felt like I had no energy to put forth the effort I needed to in my cardio.

I went to zumba for the 2nd time ever today! I can honestly say it was so much better this go 'round. It was a different instructor and she was way cool. I'm a dork, but I have so much fun and the hour goes by so much faster than if I'm huffing away on the treadmill.

I usually don't partake in too much "bad" stuff on my free days, but today was a celebration! My mom and I are the only ones up still, and we took it upon ourselves to have some dark chocolate (good for your heart, right?) and some strawberry shortcake! She made it with sugar-free angel food cake and cool-whip free...so it wasn't that sinful! I know I will work hard this week to make up for it all!

5 down, 7 more to go!

Punching, xo

Day 34

2009-05-09T22:28:00.000-04:00

After a lazy, chill morning I finally got motivated to work out. I had to do a strength-training workout, along with my cardio...now that I'm working out with Justin on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Everything got all mixed up this week :) I did my 30 minutes on the treadmill plus about 35 minutes of strength exercises (ie, lunges and squats with weights) that Justin taught me.

Tomorrow morning is my weigh-in. I'm not too excited about it...partially because we enjoyed a yummy steak dinner at Logan's tonight. I don't usually eat out on days that aren't "free", but I tried to make the most healthy choices I could. I'm just hoping the sodium doesn't do a number on the scale. And if it does, I know why :)

Not much else to report for now...so I will say good night.

Punching, xo

Day 33

2009-05-08T22:28:00.000-04:00

I woke up with super sore hamstrings this morning! What a bittersweet feeling...I hate to say it, but I've actually missed being sore for the past week or so. On top of that, I actually pushed through my cardio without a hitch. I RAN for the longest time I've run in 2 years. That shows my progress...and my knees lived to tell about it!

I'm still feeling a little drained, but nowhere near as badly as I have...I'm excited for my "last chance workout" tomorrow. Yes, I watch too much of the Biggest Loser :) But I always try and push myself that much harder on Saturday, because of my weigh-ins on Sunday...

I'm going to bed soon, but first I wanted to share an excerpt from last night's BFL journal:

"Forgiveness is a priceless gift you can give for free."
"...so many people don't even know how good they are. They carry bags of guilt, filled to the brim, with them day and night, expending precious energy. That 'baggage' like pounds of unhealthy bodyfat, needs to be shed in order to move upward and onward. The process of breaking free involves forgiving. Forgiving others, and most important forgiving yourself...Perhaps you've broken self-promises. Perhaps you've let yourself down. If so, you're not alone. Virtually everyone has felt like that at some point. But you don't have to let that stop you. The key is to forgive yourself and vow to try harder and do better in the future. Drop that baggage and move on!"

Punching, xo

Day 32

2009-05-07T21:40:00.000-04:00

I forgot to post this last night, but yesterday was my 1/2 birthday...not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, BUT...I have said that I wanted to be in great shape by my 30th. So I have 6 months to get there. I'm definitely on the right track...I just have to stay there!

Today I worked out with Justin. I felt strong, and I was really excited to be there. I still had a major struggle getting through my cardio today. This week has been tough...I have upped my intensity, but have felt so completely worn down. I seriously think I could sleep for 2 days and still not be rested. I thought maybe my body was yelling at me for the rigorous program I've put it on...and then today my throat was sore. I'm begging that I'm not getting sick...so I'm hitting the hay early tonight.

Tonight I made a yummy dinner. We had spaghetti (whole-wheat pasta, of course), sauce made with ground turkey, mushrooms and red peppers. It was amazing. Maybe it was the fact that we've been eating chicken and fish for weeks :) No, but it really was good. My grandma even ate it up, and she is a burger and fries (anything greasy) queen! It totally felt like we were "cheating" by eating this. I wouldn't eat it everyday, but gosh it was a nice change!

I'll be at the Y in the morning, thanks to Alana's KidFit class. Gotta love it :) She waits all week for Fridays! I'm hoping I will wake up in the morning, refreshed and renewed!

Punching, xo

Day 31

2009-05-06T20:05:00.000-04:00

Didn't want to go to the Y today...I reeeeeally wanted to stay home and just do my cardio here. Alana had different plans, though. I decided it was easier to just go to the Y than to fight about it with her :) So we went...

I did 30 minutes on the Arc trainer and 15 minutes on the treadmill with a 7-8% incline. That's like the least I've done on a cardio day yet, I think...maybe not. But I feel drained. I am tired. My body is begging me for something, and I'm not sure what it is yet! I know it is not a Snickers Sonic Blast, though! Mmmm...

I have been sticking to my diet flawlessly...

Hoping the scale moves more than 1/2 a lb this week, but for some reason I feel heavier than I have haha...

Punching, xo

Day 30

2009-05-05T23:13:00.000-04:00

Thirty days down! Today was a good day. My back has been a little bit sore, but Justin was sure to not let me hurt it any worse. I did one set of exercises that include squats and overhead presses, and once he saw it was causing me pain, we modified it so that I could sit and do them instead...I can't afford to throw my back out. I got a lot of non-exercise exercise in today by cleaning, too! That's always fun (sense the sarcasm). Overall, it's been another amazing day! The only thing that could make it better is hearing from my hubby...That, and winning the lottery :)

Not much more to report for now! Gonna workout tomorrow, but I'm going to take it easy on the back for one more day...

Punching, xo

Day 29

2009-05-04T22:12:00.000-04:00

I missed my session with Justin today...I managed to drag myself to the Y for some cardio, though! I have a new favorite machine there. I don't remember if I wrote about it before, so I will share again :) It's called the Arc Trainer (Cybex) and it is sort of like an elliptical, only better! I burned 435 in 30 minutes! THIRTY minutes! It's amazing! So then I did 20 minutes on the treadmill with a 7-8% incline. I'm working on raising that intensity!

My foot has been feeling better, and then today out of nowhere my lower back has been killing me! And I mean killing me. I have had the heating pad on it for most of the afternoon/evening. I'm hoping that when I wake up in the morning it is back to normal. I really need to work out tomorrow! I think that standing in line at two places to try and mail Justin a package today didn't help...The box wasn't THAT heavy, but obviously enough to make matters worse.

Another successful day earned!

Punching, xo

Day 28

2009-05-03T10:18:00.000-04:00

The results are in...Are you ready?! I will share them over my bowl of Lucky Charms. This is my free day folks, simmer down :)

My first 4 weeks on BFL, I:
-lost 7.2 lbs (I also lost about 5 before I started, for a total of 12-ish)
-lost 12.5 inches (2 off my waist, 2.5 off my hips, 3 off my bust, 2 off of each thigh, and a little off my arms and calves)
-increased my endurance and strength

I was somewhat bummed today when I weighed in...I mean, I lost a whole 0.4 lbs again. It's hard when I've been busting my butt everyday in the gym and don't see the scale budge. Then I did my measurements...and we took our first after pictures. That is where the real proof is. I told my mom that it makes me want to go give trainer Justin a great big hug...and then again, I'm the one who's done this. Sure, he helped pave the way. My mom and I were talking yesterday about how with diet and exercise, no one can do it for you. No one can eat (or not eat) for you...no one can work out for you. So I'm gonna take this credit for myself :) I am thankful for all of the things I have learned in the past 28 days. I am worth it, and I can do this.

Tomorrow is a day I would normally workout with Justin, but he is booked full during the Y-Play hours, so I have to go on Tuesday instead. I will be missing that, but I will be at the Y! I hate to say it, but I think I am becoming a gym junkie. I can think of worse things...

The rest of my day is FREE. Off to church, and then I think we are having lunch with Jon, Lindsay and Liam...Gonna be a fantastic day!

Punching, xo

Day 27

2009-05-02T22:05:00.000-04:00

One word...ZUMBA!!!

Oh goodness. I talked my mom into going to Zumba with me today. I'd never been, and I've been so curious about all the hype. Besides that, I want to do classes at the Y just to change things up. I am not the most coordinated person in the world, so I was kind of hesitant...Well, we went! We went and so did at least 60 other people. It was PACKED! We could barely move...I couldn't really see the instructor to know what the heck I was doing. It was a lot of fun, though...and I will definitely go back. I think I will go back during the week, and hope there are less people in the class. The best part was the fact that there were four or five Latin guys in front of us (or behind us, depending on which way we were facing). No pressure! I'm sure they were laughing at the lack of salsa in my steps.

We ate lunch at Subway, which is a treat these days! When we got home I played some wii with the fam and then I got on the treadmill. I tried to do some intervals like Justin had me doing on the elliptical yesterday...only this time I alternated between walking at a good pace and sprinting. I did that for 30 minutes and then stretched and did some situps with the medicine ball. I'm trying to take what my trainer has taught me and use it at home. I will have to do it on my own eventually! The thought saddens me, though! Maybe I will inherit millions or something, and I can afford to have a trainer forever...and maybe a chef, too! :)

Anywho...
It's been a good day, but I am tired. I am going to ice my knees for the second time. I woke up with my foot a little sore, but better...and now it is not hurting at all! Thanks for the prayers. I'm just taking precautionary measures with the knees. I still have about 30-35 extra lbs on my joints, and they hate me for it!

Tomorrow is the 4-week mark! Check back for my weight/measurement updates...I almost said for my first "after" pics, but get real...you ain't gettin' those! :)

Punching, xo

p.s. It was time for a blog makeover!

Day 26

2009-05-01T20:56:00.001-04:00

I had my best workout yet today...That is solely my own opinion :) I just felt stronger than I normally do, and I didn't even tire as quickly. There was the time I threw a medicine ball at my trainer's hand...oops. I was smiling when I left and one of the other Y employees noted that Justin must not be training me hard enough if I'm smiling...The question is, will I be smiling tomorrow?

My foot has been hurting since the middle of the night last night. I woke up, thanks to the thunderstorms...and when I did, I noticed that my foot was throbbing. I thought maybe I was sleeping on it wrong, but when I woke up again this morning it was still really sore. I'm icing it and praying that it's nothing major. I don't need any big bumps in the road!

Tomorrow I am going to go to the gym, I think...even though I usually stay home and hit the treadmill on Saturdays...I really want to kick up the intensity. It's my last day before measurements and our first "after" pics! Also, J showed me how to get the most out of my cardio today...I'm excited to try it out again, foot willing.

Punching, xo

Day 25

2009-05-01T00:06:00.000-04:00

Today was a busy, productive day...It almost made me feel "normal". I put that one in quotes, because I am not really sure what the word means. Started my day off at the gym, as usual! Got my hour of cardio in, and I also got signed up for 10 more sessions with Justin. I still have 2, so that means I'm in it for at least 4 more weeks...I am sooooo incredibly thankful for the extra time! On a down note, I've felt fatter today, haha. I know it's dumb, but I've been feeling lighter lately--until today...I hope it will make me push myself even harder tomorrow!

Just wanted to share a quote out of my book...I will paraphrase it, because I'm too lazy to go back and see what it says verbatim. But it goes something like this: "Success is something that you earn, not something that you own." I thought this was pretty awesome. I want to be successful, and in order to do that I have to earn it. I have to work hard for it. No one can hand me success. It is something that I must want bad enough to obtain on my own...Good stuff!

Punching, xo

Day 24

2009-04-29T21:50:00.000-04:00

Wow, Day 24. I can't believe it. Felt like today's workout went a lot better. There was only one thing I couldn't do, and we modified that to make it possible. I can tell I'm getting stronger and I'm building endurance. I ran yesterday for farther than I've run in a LONG time...

Sunday we will be weighing in as usual, but also taking our measurements and our 4-week "after" pictures. I'm hoping that will help me see my progress a little clearer.

I'm staying focused...

Punching, xo

Day 23

2009-04-28T23:10:00.000-04:00

Today:

1. Sore all over.
2. Still did 50 minutes of intense cardio.
3. Ate on plan.
4. Watched American Idol and the Biggest Loser.
5. Going to bed, hoping Alana will fall asleep SOMETIME tonight also.

The End.

Day 22

2009-04-27T23:19:00.000-04:00

I. AM. TIRED.

I don't know how else to explain it :)

Today's workout started off amazing...and then...we worked out with these straps. I am going to just call them satan's straps because I hold them with the same regard. I think I laughed more than I worked out with them. If you would've seen me, you would understand why. Justin was asking me why I was laughing, and I told him to keep from crying...He was torturing me today. I kid you not.

I had to force 4 meals in today. I have to do something about that...J also told me today that he wants me to do less cardio time this week but up the intensity. I don't know how it is possible to up my intensity any higher. But he's the boss applesauce.

I mean, seriously. I've lost 12 lbs in the past month. I must be doing something right. I just have a lot more to go, so I've gotta be patient.

Punching, xo

Days 20 and 21

2009-04-26T23:17:00.000-04:00

This is probably going to be short and sweet...I am exhausted! I was supposed to be driving back from Norfolk today, but I got the brainy idea to just drive it last night. Yep, I woke up at 3:30 a.m. and flew 4 hours to do my errands in Norfolk and drive 12 hours back to Nashville...I was going non-stop for 24 hours. I'm glad I did it, but my body isn't in much agreement with me on that right now :)

Yesterday was a success, as far as sticking to my eating plan. I actually didn't eat a lot because I was flying, driving and taking care of all kinds of business. I did drink my weight in water, though...and then had to stop a million times on the drive home because of it!

This morning, I woke up long enough to get Alana's bike and Barbies out of the car and managed to lock my keys in there...I should've just stayed in bed. It got progressively better, though! Enjoyed a nice lunch with my girls (Alana, Mom and Grandma) at Logan's...and then off to the Y with my mom and Alana. It was fun working out with my mom. We did an hour of cardio. Justin was there training someone else, and he was shouting across the gym for my mom to do one more :) It was funny...he came over to talk to us and kept telling us things like "let's up that intensity". My mom finally asked him "aren't you off the clock?" In other words, LEAVE US ALONE ON OUR FREE DAY!!!! :) Heck, I will take all the free training I can get!

I weighed in yesterday because I didn't think I would be here to weigh-in today. I was down 2 lbs yesterday...I was sort of disappointed. I am glad I lost 2 lbs, but I was hoping for an even higher number. I have been working SO hard. I keep telling myself it's only been 3 weeks! Besides that, my jeans are falling off of me (literally). I think I am going to stop weighing myself weekly. It's just that it usually aggravates me more than anything. I don't want this to be about the number on the scale. I'm actually enjoying working out and eating right...

I must get some sleep, I have an actual paid-for session with J in the morning...

Punching, xo

Day 19

2009-04-24T20:49:00.000-04:00

Awesome workout today! I felt energized, and even though the circuit was a killer I managed to make it through pretty strong. We got SO much into our 1/2 hour session. I also got in 50 minutes of cardio on top of that, thanks to Alana's kid fit class. I figured I may as well do more cardio rather than sit on a bench at the Y and wait on her to finish :)

I've gotta get to bed early tonight, but I wanted to share my two biggest NSVs (Non-scale victories) so far...First of all, and this is random I know...but last night I took my jeans off without unbuttoning or unzipping them. This is a HUGE deal! I haven't lost much on the scale so far, but obviously I'm doing something right! I even pulled them back up just to make sure I wasn't hallucinating haha...and yep! Time to go home and get some smaller jeans :) My 2nd may not seem like a big deal, but it really is. Anyone who knows me knows that I have a major coke addiction...not drugs, people. I am SOOOO hooked on Coke and also Dr. Pepper! It has been my biggest vice. Well, I obviously haven't had any of those during the past 3 weeks...and today we went to Sonic after the Y to get Alana a slush, and I ordered a Diet Dr. Pepper...I took one sip of it and knew it wasn't diet! It actually tasted so sweet to me that it practically made me gag! I did not drink it, and I was so proud that I actually turned my nose up to the "regular" soda. Of course, if it were up to J, I wouldn't even drink the diet :) Baby steps...

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day, as I'm going back to Norfolk...I will not have my computer, but I will do my best to post from my Blackberry...If not, expect a double post on Sunday!

Punching, xo

Day 18

2009-04-23T22:56:00.000-04:00

Today has been a good day. I'm posting this from my brother's...I got to babysit Liam for the first time tonight :) He is seriously the best kid. I told Justin if all kids were as easy as he is, I would have five more...unfortunately, you can't be so sure!

Did my hour of cardio at the gym this morning...it seems like the past few days have been a struggle as far as me having the energy to get through my workout...BUT I've done it regardless! Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day! I workout with J and he always knows how to push me to my limits (and maybe beyond!) Last night, I was watching iCarly with Alana. I welcome this show in place of SpongeBob any day, but anyway...there was a guy on last night's episode and Alana said "Mommy, that looks like Justin". I looked at her crazy, because a) she doesn't refer to her daddy as 'Justin' and b) he didn't look like him....and then she said "Justin from the gym!" She's only met him one time for a few minutes. She said it was his hair, haha...gotta love it.

I feel like I haven't eaten enough today...which is not necessarily a bad problem to have. I'm just paranoid about my metabolism deciding to shut down...but I've been running around all day and honestly just haven't been that hungry or had the time to eat. I'm hoping and praying this week's weigh-in is more satisfying than the last. All I can do is my best!

Punching, xo

Day 17

2009-04-22T22:34:00.000-04:00

Woke up again this morning, not feeling so great...Went to the gym...felt better when I left. I think I may be onto something here :) Today's workout REALLY challenged me. I was lacking in energy all around today, and J upped the intensity at the same time. I made it through though and feel better for it! He looked over my food journal and said my diet is "actually really good"...The only thing he said he didn't like was the diet sodas haha. At least it's diet! I am off of my too-many-a-day regular cokes and sweet tea! Cut a girl some slack :)

I don't want to jinx it or anything, but this has really been an "easy" journey for me so far. I've not been in the right state of mind for the last few attempts at losing weight and getting healthy. It's kinda like when it's right, I'm all in. I'm not craving anything insane. I'm able to walk past those m&m sugar cookies from the bakery that my mom bought for Alana without looking twice...okay, maybe I look but there's no harm in that!!!

This weekend I am going back to VA to take care of some stuff and then drive one of my cars back to TN. I'm kinda nervous about being out of my comfort zone, but luckily it's going to be on the weekend, ONE of which is my free day.

Time for some Advil-PM and my bed now...

Punching, xo

Day 16

2009-04-21T23:01:00.000-04:00

Not much to report today...I need to go to bed, because I have to be at the gym in the morning with J. Got my hour of cardio in this morning at the Y, and then I did about 3 more hours of cardio when I got a little neurotic cleaning my mom's house...I'm talking--sweeping, dusting, vacuuming, cleaning all 3 bathrooms, mopping...Alana helped me do the baseboards :) My hamstrings were sore this morning, and I'm sure they are not going to be any less sore tomorrow!

Got to get my food journals together to take with me in the morning...

Punching, xo

Day 15

2009-04-20T22:43:00.000-04:00

This morning started off a little rough...for whatever reason (maybe the fried pickles yesterday, haha) I woke up with an upset stomach. This is the last thing I want to feel when I'm getting ready to go in for a workout with Trainer Justin :) I decided to suck it up and made my way to the gym. He met me on the elliptical and literally KILLED me in my warm-up alone! His exact words were "I don't care if you puke, I'll get a trash can and you'll keep going!" It was like some kind of Bob and Jillian stuff going on today! He did say that, but he is also totally cool. He does what he has to in order for me to reach my full potential. He commented again today about how much my endurance has increased, even in just 4 sessions with him. It's been fun. And I even walked out of there feeling amazing! Later in the day, I hit a wall and felt like sleeping for a couple of hours...Which is why I'm heading to bed soon. Wednesday I'm taking my food journal for Justin to look at so he can go over what I'm eating to see if there's any tweaking that needs to be done. He doesn't seem too concerned about my lack of weight loss this week, so we'll see...

Punching, xo

Day 14

2009-04-19T21:58:00.000-04:00

Duh duh duh...

Ok, so just as I suspected...the weigh-in was less than stellar today! Actually, it was even worse than when I weighed on Friday. I was still down 0.6 lbs. It could've been a gain. I will admit that I wore a pair of jeans to church that were tight on me a couple of weeks ago and had lots of room to spare. That was my "non-scale victory" for the week. Another NSV is that when we ate lunch (at the Catfish House AGAIN), I resisted most all of the fried home-cooking...MOST. My super brother ordered the fried pickles, and I ate 2 of them. 2, that's it. That's not the victory, though. The victory is that I realized how much I didn't want to eat that stuff. I am starting to really realize how food makes me feel...and it's a good thing!

So tomorrow morning I'm back with the trainer. I have a sneaking suspicion why my numbers aren't moving...I will spare those details :) But I'm not letting the slow scale do anything to my motivation. If anything, it pushes me that much more!

I'm off to email my hubby and go to bed...Need to rest up for tomorrow!
Oh, and by the way last night I did the yoga AND the treadmill...Today was free, so I took advantage!

Punching, xo

Day 13

2009-04-18T21:49:00.001-04:00

It's Day 13, do you know what that means?! Nothing, really...haha. It means that tomorrow is my 2nd official weigh-in. I actually am not looking forward to it. I admit, I weighed yesterday morning and was pretty disappointed. I have busted my butt this week, MUCH harder than I did in the first...and I want results! I guess that's why I shouldn't weigh before the day I'm supposed to. My trainer actually told me to weigh once every TWO weeks, but I can't go that long! It would drive me insane not to know my progress...I know it's all mental. So we shall see what tomorrow brings, and of course it will be reported here...good news or not!

The good news is that I feel so much better. I feel stronger. I feel like I have more control over all of the things in my life, just by having control over taking care of my body. It's crazy...

Today was good. Alana and I had lunch with Jon, Lindsay and Liam at Chick Fil-A...This is a safe place for me to eat, because I know what I can have and not go overboard...that AND I rather enjoy it! I only got 4 meals in today, and still have to do my workout...but I will do it. Just letting dinner completely digest before attempting it. It's also 100 degrees upstairs in my room, where the treadmill is! Maybe I'm avoiding it for that reason. I also bought the Biggest Loser Yoga dvd, so I might try that out. I'm one of the least flexible people I know, but I've been working on it...

Here's to another day of doing the right thing!

Punching, xo

Day 12

2009-04-17T22:24:00.000-04:00

It's Friday, and I'm thanking God! I feel like I may be fighting a cold, but other than that it's been a wonderful day! Managed to get my workout in, despite the fact that my trainer had the day off. How dare he! :) Juuuuuust kidding. I think a lot of people took the day off, because the gym looked like a ghost town. Alana did her exercise class, and I managed to get on the weight machines and do some leg work...and 30 minutes of cardio. After the gym, we came home and ate lunch...then Alana and I headed to the park! It was 75 degrees and sunny here in TN, and we tried to soak up every minute of it!

I'm going to call it a night and try to rest my head...

Punching, xo

Day 11

2009-04-16T21:41:00.000-04:00

Nothing terribly exciting to post about today. I went to the Y and did my hour of cardio...I ate according to plan--even though it's getting old. It's not that I want to go eat a cheeseburger and drink a milkshake...I just need to find new ways to prepare the food, I suppose. It's like every night my mom and I are like "chicken or fish?" haha. I actually had to make myself eat dinner, mainly for that reason.

Tomorrow should be interesting! I have to figure out how to do my weight training minus my trainer...I could just do something at home, but Alana has her exercise class in the morning so I have to be there anyway. I'm hoping I have the guts and the motivation to just go in there and try to mimic a workout with J the best I can...I will have to learn eventually :)

I'm trying my darndest to not let anything distract me, and today I had one of those "distractions" and it kinda stressed me out...fortunately, I bounced back quickly.

Punching, xo

Day 10

2009-04-15T13:56:00.000-04:00

It's early, but what the heck...I'm still gonna post while I have the time and desire to do so :) Today has been great so far! When I woke up, I was sad that my sore muscles had not miraculously disappeared in my sleep...but I also decided to suck it up. I was walking out the door to leave for the gym when my phone rang...Guess who it was? It was JUSTIN!!! The hubby, not the trainer! I was sooo glad to hear his voice for the first time in almost 2 months. He was in Dubai, off the ship...so he was also in great spirits. I told him that I was glad he called then and not 10 minutes later or I would've missed him! Alana even talked to him...which, trust me, is a huge deal. She is very finicky when it comes to talking to the phone. When we got to the gym, and I got off the phone, Alana asked me when Daddy was coming home. It was sweet and sad all in one...

I hobbled into the gym, after having to park in the farthest possible row from the entrance! Got Alana checked in and headed to my go-to elliptical machine for my warm-up. Ooooh the legs were on fire...seriously! So here comes Trainer J, and he asks how I'm feeling. I contemplate lying, but then I decide to just downplay the pain. I told him I was good, but my legs were sore. He said we would go light on the legs, but he still wanted to do some easy leg work...I did 5 more minutes on the elliptical and met him at the weights, where he greeted me with "I lied...I'm gonna kill your legs today, too!" Wow, not what I wanted to hear haha! But you know what, I did it and it was great! We worked upper body mostly, and he told me that my endurance has improved greatly each session...I can feel that too! He also tested my body fat, which was bad but honestly not as bad as what I thought it would be...I'm only a few percentage points above normal...but STILL!!!

Trainer J will be out on Friday, so I will not have my session...and I will probably have withdrawals! I was going to try and do it tomorrow, but then I decided that after today I might be way too sore...I'm playing it safe. You can guarantee that I will be in the gym doing cardio, though!!!

Another great workout, another day stepping forward...

Punching, xo

Day 9

2009-04-14T22:06:00.001-04:00

Woke up VERY sore this morning...this time it was my lower body. Guess those squats and leg presses did the job :) No pain, no gain, right?! I still managed to make it to the gym for an hour of cardio this morning...30 minutes on the elliptical and then 30 minutes on the bike. By the time I got home, I was popping the advil. My mom and I were joking about how many bottles of it we would go through during these 12 weeks. It's sad, but true! Followed my eating plan once again. It's been a lot easier than I could have imagined...even when Grandma is making Tombstone pizzas and leaving 3/4 of them on the stove all day :) I've still managed to practice self-control and not view this journey as torture, but I see it as a decision that I am making 100% on my own to be healthy!

I train with TJ in the morning again...I'm praying my legs and butt will cooperate! He is also going to test my body fat, so that should be lovely! I'm sure it will be depressing in one sense, but I know I'm on the right path--the one to change that...so I'm kinda looking forward to it. The body fat is much more telling than the scale.

For now, I'm calling it a night! Gotta rest my body...

Punching, xo

Day 8

2009-04-13T23:37:00.000-04:00

Today was the 8th day of my program and the 2nd day of working out with "TJ". I am proud to report that there were no "incidents" on the gym floor today! It was a very tough workout, and the sweat burned my eyes BUT I did not feel faint. I made a lovely concoction of "power oatmeal"...There's not much you can do to make plain oatmeal enjoyable, but I tried. I added some chocolate protein powder and half a banana and voila! I told my Grandma that I might throw up BEFORE the gym today when I started eating it...but it wasn't really that bad. My triceps were 90% better when I woke up this morning, but TJ was determined to make them sore again! Not really...he doesn't believe in making his clients sore. He actually feels bad when I tell him things like I couldn't hold my hair dryer up long enough to dry my hair all the way :) Haha...I don't complain to him, I just give him a hard time because I can!

Tomorrow is going to be an earlier day than usual...so I'm going to close this for now...More to come!!!

Punching, xo

Day 7

2009-04-12T23:41:00.000-04:00

Today was my first official weigh-in, as well as my first "free day". I haven't weighed myself at all this week, since starting on Monday. I was mostly afraid that if I got on the scale and saw no change or even worse a gain that I would immediately become discouraged and stop. I had to steer clear of the scale, which isn't that hard to do since it's downstairs in my mom's bathroom and not readily available to me. SOOOO...After just 6 days on the Body for Life program, I have lost 4.2 lbs!!! I was secretly hoping for 3...but also wasn't sure if I would even hit 3, because I dropped about 5 lbs in the first 2 weeks I was in Nashville (not doing anything special). I figured there went my first week's weight loss...NOPE! I was soooo stoked that I practically came running down the hall to tell my mom!

We ate lunch at the Catfish House here in Smyrna. It is just that...a place where they serve catfish. I'm not a huge fish eater, but I figured I'd eat catfish since that was their specialty :) I was proud of myself :::pat on my own back::: that I did not over-indulge in anything. I ordered the grilled catfish instead of fried...and I had turnip greens instead of french fries or a baked potato. The only thing I ate that was somewhat "off plan" was 2 bites of coleslaw and about 6-8 pieces of fried okra. Trust me, it could've been much worse! I resisted my favorite menu item there--the fried pickles!!! It was hard...but when I got home, I did treat myself to that ONE chocolate marshmallow egg.

Tomorrow is the start of Week 2, and I'm training with TJ again in the morning...My triceps hurt so bad today that I could hardly clap my hands in church...and drying my hair was torture. I guess that means I did something right!

Week One = Success!

Punching, xo

Days 5 and 6

2009-04-11T22:43:00.000-04:00

That's right, I'm blogging from the treadmill...mostly because I'm too sweaty to sit anywhere else and too hot to take a shower still. I didn't post yesterday, because there was just too much excitement going on here! But it's definitely worth posting about--for those who don't already know the story :) I'll split it up...

Yesterday (Day 5)
First day with my trainer. I was pretty excited about going...and so was Alana! I got there 15 minutes early just like he had told me to do when we set it up, and jumped on the elliptical machine to warm up. Mind you, my leg muscles were already aching from the past 2 days workouts and I woke up with a throat sorer than the day before. So before I know it, here comes Justin (the trainer) be-bopping over to me to up the intensity before I even started my weight training with him...That pretty much pushed me into exhaustion :) So I did about 11 minutes on there and headed over to the weight area where Justin was waiting. It's confusing, I know, having a husband and a trainer with the same name...From now on I will refer to him as "Trainer J" or "TJ". But back to the drama...We stretched and then immediately went into working upper body and core, using the cable weights. I was so into it...I was feeling the burn and loving it. That is, until I started getting tunnel vision and felt like passing out. I've only passed out once in my life, but I had that SAME EXACT feeling. I could hardly see...I told TJ I need to take a break for a minute...and then he told me to sit down on one of the weight benches. I can't even tell you what was going through my head...I'm thinking here I am in this gym, surrounded by muscle-heads (as I lovingly refer to them), and I'm about to be laid out on the floor...Trainer J was sooooooo great. He asked if I wanted a banana (my sugar was dropping, hence the light headedness). I declined. Then he asked if I wanted a trash can. I immediately said no, and then faster than I said no, I said YES. He got it to me in time for me to throw up not ONCE, not TWICE, but THREE times. Yeah, I pretty much felt like a dummy-head. But as soon as I did, I felt 100% better, too...And then you know what? I got up and finished my workout session! Justin (my hubby) said that's because I'm "gangsta" :) And even after I finished my workout, I did another 30 minutes on the bike and walked a SLOW mile around the indoor track while waiting for Alana's Kid-fit class to end. I felt horrible for poor TJ, but he was more worried about me hating him! What can I say, I make a great first impression :) My mom said it was just like on the Biggest Loser...I said I felt like the biggest loser. My mom worked out with TJ later that night and after she got off the elliptical, she told him she needed a trash can. At first he looked confused and then he said "THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!" Good times. So lessons learned, don't eat eggs on training days...eat oatmeal and fruit. I followed my meal plan again, although I did enjoy a grilled chicken sandwich on whole wheat bun from Chick Fil-A for dinner. It was the highlight of my day for sure!

Now for Day 6...Today...
It's been a good day, but pretty chill. I did some last minute Easter shopping...hitting up Kohl's and finding some GREAT deals there! My mom made some amazing grilled chicken with bell peppers, onions, mushrooms and squash...it was soooo delicious! I am pretty sore from yesterday, so I didn't go to the Y, but I made myself do my 20 minutes of cardio that was on the plan for today. I did a good walk/run on the treadmill...the one I'm sitting on now as I type.

So tomorrow is our first FREE day! This means that we can eat whatever we want and exercise as little as we want. Honestly, I want to exercise, which is a very good thing. We will see if my body cooperates. I'm not gonna go crazy on food or anything, though I have reserved one very special chocolate covered marshmallow out of Alana's basket for myself IF I decide I want it :) Also, tomorrow is going to be my first official weigh-in. I decided I will weigh-in on Sundays, before the free day...for obvious reasons! I can't believe it's already been 6 days. To me, it's been easy so far. I feel better already!!! I think this next week I am going to try to get to some classes at the Y, also...

Punching, xo

Day 4

2009-04-09T22:12:00.000-04:00

Here I sit, the end of the fourth day...dogs on my lap :) We are dog-sitting Scooter and Sadie for a couple days...I have an incredibly sore throat, and I am hoping that I will wake up tomorrow and be miraculously healed. I am meeting with Justin (the trainer) at 9:30...Wish me luck! Today I was able to get in about 50 minutes of cardio, and my legs are hating me right now. I wasn't going to go because my legs were sore from yesterday's workout...but then my little coach told me we HAD to go :) Gotta love Alana! Eating today was good, as far as not straying from the plan. I discovered how much I like the chocolate protein shakes mixed with a banana...Mmm...I didn't get 6 meals in, and in fact I have yet to do that...but I have followed the rules regardless.

Now I'm going to take some meds and go to bed...Hoping that I will be 100% in the morning!

Punching, xo

Day 3

2009-04-08T22:43:00.000-04:00

Is it only Day 3? :) Just kidding...Today was a fabulous day. I was debating whether or not to go to the Y, when Alana said "BUT MOMMY!!!! I reeeeeally want to go to the Y today!" Nothing like being motivated by a 4 year old. I'm thankful to have that push...no matter where it comes from! So I got there and managed to pull an hour of cardio out of somewhere--still not sure where, because my legs were already aching from yesterday's elliptical session. I did 30 minutes on the bike and 30 on the elliptical today. I'm sure tomorrow I will be feeling every minute, too. We left the gym and picked up my Grandma from the senior center...and she wanted to go to Sonic for lunch. I don't really like Sonic, but the fact is that I ordered a diet coke and came home and ate a turkey sandwich on whole grain bread. Success at its best! Also, Justin (trainer Justin, not the hubby) called tonight and set up my sessions...I start with him on Friday morning! I'm excited!

Another day down, a lot to go...

Punching, xo

The First Two Days...

2009-04-08T09:03:00.000-04:00

I was planning to post everyday, but obviously I haven't done that :) I'll give the quick run-down of how things went on days one and two of my journey. Day one...I woke up, ready to face the world. Five minutes later, I wanted to throw up. Not sure if it was nerves or the vitamins I took...but regardless, I got my gym clothes on and headed up to the Y to try and get my first "upper body" workout in. When I got there and saw how crowded the parking lot was, I turned around and drove back home. This made me feel pretty much like I'd lost the battle before it began...I felt pretty gross all day, but I managed to stick to my eating plan. Day two (which was yesterday), I decided I was going to go to the Y if it killed me. I took along my partner in crime (Alana) and off we went. It was a success. I was supposed to do cardio, which I did...the elliptical is my friend, or so I'm telling myself anyway. Alana LOVED going. She asked if we could go back everyday. There, my friends, is my motivation :) They have a really great program for the kids...organized activities each day. When I used to go to Gold's Gym in VA, Alana was only 2...and she hated going to the gym with me. It really makes all the difference in the world if your kid likes to go. I also signed up to work with a trainer (my mom's) for a few sessions, just so I can get a grip on what I'm supposed to be doing weight-wise. I'm nervous and excited all at once for that to begin. I am waiting to hear from him to find out when that will start. Yesterday was also successful, as far as my eating plan...Didn't stray one bit. I've already had my egg whites and whole wheat toast for the day...Alana is still asleep, and I'm trying to get a plan in action for today. I feel pretty good...I have a feeling I'm gonna do this and do it well :)

Punching, xo

Body For Life

2009-04-05T22:23:00.000-04:00

I have not abandoned this blog or my journey...Sometimes I just have unexpected detours along the way. I am in Nashville now, and I plan to stay here for a while. My mom works for Abbott Laboratories, and they are starting the Body for Life challenge tomorrow. I have known she signed up to do this for a while now...and in my time here, I agreed to join her in the challenge. I have a membership at the YMCA here and plan to put 110% into this program. I'm going to be posting about it here...so if you want to read it, welcome! Tomorrow is Day 1 of 84. I am excited and looking forward to it. I'm a bit anxious about the "weight training" part of the program, but I am willing to give it all I've got. My mom and I took our "before" pictures today. And no, I will NOT be posting those here :) I will spare you all from that pain. I am hoping to find my way back...

Off to make my meal plan and take my starting measurements...Yikes!

Punching, xo

The Proof is in the Pudding.

2009-03-05T15:13:00.001-05:00

I don't even know what that means...So today I was emailing back and forth with one of my very favorite friends (Natalia) and I had this flashback...We met the last time Justin was on deployment...Her husband was on the ship with him, most of you know the story so I won't bore you with all the gory details. Anyways, Natalia still lived in Miami and I was already in VA. We would email each other all day, every day. I'm surprised she didn't get fired from her job before she quit :) One thing we did was email silly pictures to each other...Some just to make each other laugh, some to prove that we had put in our time on the treadmill that day. I was actually running about 5 miles a night at that point. Today when we were talking I told her how I'd gained so much weight since we met...she immediately asked if I had been treadmilling. I decided to go back through my old emails--waaaaaay back--and found this picture. Yeah I may not be super model thin, but I was strong and healthy. It looks like I had just gotten out of the shower too haha. Not so much, it was pure sweat dripping from my hair. Seeing this picture does a few things for me. It makes me laugh--come on look at my pose and my smirky face. It makes me all sappy, thinking about those days with Natalia. And lastly, it motivates me! I know I can do it.

*Justin approved the posting of this picture :)

Punching, xo

Don't Think, Just Punch!

2009-03-03T11:37:00.000-05:00

I wish I could think as matter-of-factly as some people do...mostly, Justin. He knows my struggles, in fact he shares many of them. I woke up this morning and truly felt blah. I wanted to cry or scream, I wasn't quite sure which. I feel so unmotivated these days. I know in my head that the reasonable way to take action is to put one foot in front of the other and move. In my moment of feeling sorry for myself, Justin quoted the wisdom of Rocky and told me "Don't think, just punch." His words seemed to click with me in a way I never expected. He reminded me that the fight was not going to go away...so I can either get up and fight back or basically get knocked out. I read his email (he is many miles and time zones away after all), and immediately something changed in me. I got off the couch...I put on my running shoes...and I set foot on the treadmill for the first time in too long. It was as simple as that. Not once did I think about stopping or getting off. In fact, I even fought an easy way out of it and decided to put myself first. As I was listening to my ipod, the song "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie came on. Laughable, yes. But for some reason, I heard the words to the song in a different way...Maybe I'm completely stretching it here, but it worked for me so that's all that matters. It's about someone leaving someone or something in their life that isn't working for them...and although it may bring tears and pain...you know it's the right thing to do. It also talks about taking baby steps til you are full grown.

So here's to taking the first step of many in this journey...

Punching, xo

An Introduction.

2009-03-03T10:54:00.000-05:00

This is me, being me...not trying to be anything else. Allison, raw and uncensored :)

I decided to start this blog as a way to journal my thoughts and feelings, as well as to be held accountable on this journey. It is no secret that I have struggled with my weight for pretty much my entire life. (At least to those who know me) The problem with having weight issues is that you can't hide it. When people have addictions to drugs and alcohol, it is possible to keep it from others. When you have issues with food, it is plainly displayed for everyone to see--right on your ever-expanding waistline. I am not anorexic (obviously, haha) or bulimic, I am not a binge eater...I simply eat to fill something that cannot be filled. I eat out of boredom. I eat when I'm stressed. The question is why? What is the void?

I am not sure when I first became "overweight" or what triggered it. I know when I look back on pictures of myself as a kid, I jokingly ask my mom why she didn't take the fork away. I do remember being in middle school when I first attended Weight Watchers. It was odd and uncomfortable. I was with a bunch of adults and had to weigh-in in a not-discreet-enough-for-me fashion. This was before the days of points, etc...Honestly, I have no idea what it entailed as I didn't stick with it long enough for it to leave a mark on my memory. A little while later, it was Jenny Craig. My parents did not "put" me on diets...not once in my life. It was my own personal choice, as I never felt like I was comfortable in my own skin. In fact, it took great sacrifice on my mom's part...time and money...to give me what I wanted. I have tried (and been successful on!) Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers, more than one time. I have also attempted Nutrisystem, Atkins, and many more. There have also been many times in my life that my weight was NOT an issue...but in those circumstances, there was something more powerful controlling me. There have been moments that I thought "I have this"...but obviously, I do not. If I did, I would not be 50 lbs overweight and blogging about it. I will not be posting my actual weight, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure numbers.

My goal is to figure out what is holding me back from being the best me I can be. Along with the fat struggle, there is also the fear factor. FEAR. Wikipedia defines it as "an emotional response to threats and danger. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of pain." I don't think I am completely conscious of what I am fearful of. I am afraid of failure. I am afraid to win the war with my weight and still not be complete...to still feel an emptiness. What I do know is this...Isaiah 41:10 says, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous hand."

I will not fear. I have the ultimate Helper. I will conquer :)